Leaders Start By Leading Themselves . . . First

Leaders Set Standards and Goals First For Themselves

The quality of a leader is reflected in the standards they set for themselves.

Ray Kroc

We are all leaders - leaders of our businesses, leaders of our families and yes . . . even leaders of our own lives. And before its possible to lead anyone else, you must first learn how to lead your own life and follow your own guidelines and standards. Because if you don't believe in and follow the ideals that you espouse, then no one else will either.

I know that may sound funny - following yourself, but it is something that happens more than you think - or it doesn't.

Your subconscious mind will follow your conscious lead. It will believe and follow you to the ends of the earth, if you truly believe and act on your words - and not just say them. But this requires integrity - consistency of action and deed - "Walking your Talk".

You have to live with integrity, be consistent and focus on the standards (and goals) within your life or your subconscious will not follow. Because when it comes right down to it, you, of all people, know when you are telling the truth and when you aren't. And you can pretend to lie to yourself, but your subconscious doesn't always follow your words - it follows your deeds.

What are the standards you set for yourself?

Do you have daily expectations that you hold yourself accountable to?

Do you have weekly, monthly, or even yearly goals that you review and ensure that you are fulfilling - again doing so with accountability in your life?

Or do you simply go about life, living willy-nilly - just doing a cursory review every year on how things went on New Year's Eve and on your milestone Birthdays.

When you say you are going to do something, do you deliver on your promise to others? To yourself?

These are all tough questions . . . intended to challenge you and get you to look at yourself differently. Most people I talk to want to change their surroundings but don't, but rarely follow their own lead.

So if you want to lead "Change" in this world, start first by leading yourself . . . and following your own advice and words. Or you should expect that no one else will either.

Your Actions Speak Much Louder Than Your Words.

Do YOU walk your talk? How about your business, does it do what it promises to do?

It's easy to say what you want to be or what your clients want to hear - it's a whole other thing to actually pull it off.

How many people do you know that truly walk their talk - live with integrity?

How about businesses - can you name any that you know will deliver on every promise they make?

Let's take it one step further - know any politicians that really walk their talk?

So many people think that success in life and business is built on saying the right thing - and they act as if DOING is irrelevant. But I will argue that what you say doesn't matter nearly as much as what you do.

Truth is, saying what you think others want to hear is called politics.

And saying whatever it takes to get someone to believe you is called sales.

Unfortunately, neither of those will build a business. They might generate short term, one-time sales, but the business won't last. The customers won't come back - because they will feel betrayed. It takes a real leader and a real business man to keep people coming back again and again, not just once. It takes walking your talk.

Stop trying to be everything to everyone. Stop telling people what they want to hear - you can't deliver on it . . . and you know it.

Instead promise ONLY what you know you can deliver - and nothing more. Become THE most reliable person in your market at walking your talk.

You don't have to promise a lot - just deliver on what you do promise every time,
and you will get more business than you know what to do with.

Honor Those Not Present - As If They Were

Do you talk about people when they aren't there - behind their backs?

Do you share secrets about others when you know you shouldn't?

Believe it or not, I'm not going to say - "Knock it off" of "Don't do it!" That's neither my style nor, in my opinion, the right attitude.

However, what I would do, if you started to talk about someone else, is ask you a couple questions:

- Why are you saying what you are saying - what do you hope to gain?
- Do you want to feel better about yourself?
- Do you want to get me to hate them?
- Do you want me to be as angry or frustrated at them as you are?

We are all different and those differences are going to get to you, at some time or another. You are going to get frustrated and / or angry with just about everyone you know at one time or another. Things that others do are going to bother you. And the truth is, you need to find a way to express how you feel with others, without feeling guilty or destroying some one else in the process - ruining their reputation or their name just so that you can feel better about yourself.

Conversations you may have about someone else, unto themselves, are not bad. In fact sometimes, they can be therapeutic. What gets unhealthy, dangerous, and malicious is when you begin talking about someone to prejudice someone else's viewpoint about yourself or the person you speak about. This happens when you open your mouth to say things that you would never want to say if that person were actually present or ever have them hear you utter.

So the trick (if it is a trick) in honoring those not present isn't avoiding speech about them - but instead making sure your words reflect what you truly want and what you are really all about. For example, if you are talking to someone about your spouse and making fun of her cooking or other behaviors, just to gain laughs and support from a bunch of guys - then that's not honoring her. But if you having the same discussion within the context of trying to figure out what your possible options are to discuss with your spouse - that's a completely different story.

It's not what is said, but how it is said and what your intentions with the speech that matters.

So, next time you find yourself talking about someone else that isn't present, ask yourself a couple questions:

- Am I having this conversation for the right reasons?
- Would I say these things if they were here now?

If the answer to both questions is yes, then "Go for it". Talk away in good conscious. But if not, hold your tongue, respect those not present and change subjects. You not only honor those not present, but also those that are.

Seven Essentials of Team Building

A Team is defined as an group organized to work together. And truth is that unless you are a hermit, at some level, you work with others to accomplish goals - both personal and business. The others in your group might be employees, friends, family, suppliers, or even customers. But no matter who they are, if you share a mission or vision then you are a Team. It doesn't matter if that team is formalized on paper, just a verbal agreement, or even a passing relationship, the success of the vision almost always depends on everyone working together - as a single entity.

Unfortunately, just because you put a group of people together in a tight confined space doesn't mean that they will in fact work together. Working together requires, at some level, Team Building.

Throughout my career in both the Military and as a Business Coach, I have found that there are Seven Essentials of Team Building that when present help the team work better and make the combined effort of each member more than just the sum of the individual team members. Unfortunately though, when any or all of those elements are absent, teams become little more than a group of individuals sometimes working together - sometimes not.

The Seven Essentials of Team Building are:

1. Write out the purpose of the Team - The purpose or shared vision of a team is why the team exists in the first place. It is the glue that binds the members of the team and motivates them from the outset. The more each member believes in the vision, the stronger the glue. And whether your team is new or years old, it is important to invite every member of the team to either participate in the development of the vision or agree to it.

2. Create a culture of Trust - Without a doubt, the most important element in any group of people working together is that they trust each other. I'm not talking trust that they will do their job - that's important. But what's really important is that everyone on the team must trust enough that they feel they can voice their opinions without retribution or embarrassment.

3. Set Team Goals - Ones that every one agrees with - Moving forward is about knowing what's important and not important, and getting everyone to agree. This is all about creating goals. It's about defining the rules of the game of your business - knowing how to keep score and what winning looks like. If you don't know the rules, it's not much fun.

4. Gain Commitment to Goals - Everyone's Commitment - Once you have goals - it's time to gain commitment to those goals. That sounds simple, but real commitment means the willingness to be held accountable. In order to increase the level of commitment from each team member towards the goals, make sure that they have an opportunity to share in the process of creating the goals. That doesn't mean they have to be involved in the process at every stage, but they should feel that their voice was heard in the developmental process.

5. Hold Each Other Accountable - Don't count on the Leader - Goals mean nothing if they aren't met. And the only way they are going to be met, is if there is accountability within the team. Too often, the only one that is holding anyone accountable on the team is the leader - but the most effective teams create a culture of accountability where everyone is responsible to the team - not the leader to fulfill their commitments and generate the desired results.

6. Build A Reward System - Don't be afraid to build into the team culture, a reward system that promotes the behaviors and social norms that are important to the team. In many ways, your Team Reward system is built-in accountability, that works independent of other forms of individual accountability.

7. Maintain Integrity within the Team - Integrity is defined as either a steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code, a state of being unimpaired; soundness, or a condition of being whole or undivided; completeness. All of these definitions tie directly to what matters here the most - making sure that every member of the team puts the team first, before their own needs - by not breaking the bounds of trust.

These 7 Essentials are designed to give you the beginning tools to take your team from just showing up and working together - to generating success. As you go about your day, look at the teams in your life (your family, your office, your friends, all the employees, or just the volleyball team at the YMCA) and ask yourself how well each of your teams actually works.

If you want to know more about how to implement any or all of these Essentials in your team,
feel free to contact me at coach.jj@impossiblefutures.com.

To Get Testimonials, Be Who You Say You Are - Be Trustworthy

When you say it about yourself, people call you a bragger.
But when someone else says it about you, they see you as a genius.

So, how do you get people to say it about you? How do you get people to stand up and make their voice heard about how great you are? How do you get "Tesimonials"?

"Do what you do so well that they will
want to see it again and bring their friends."
Walt Disney

Believe it or not, getting testimonials have little to do with your product. They do, however, have a whole lot to do with what else you do for yor customers. You see, your customers "expect" your product to be good - to be what you say it is. But in today's marketplace, they don't expect you to do more - because so few businesses actually do.

So when you do more than they expect - you follow-up on whether they were happy, you provide extra value without being prompted, you go that extra mile just to get a smile, your customers get excited. And excitement is what will get them talking about you.

At Disney World or Disneyland, it isn't the rides that people rave about (even though the rides are quite fun) - you can go on rides at any amusement park or carnival. Instead, it's about how you feel when you are at the park - its the experience you get before, during and after you experience the Disney Experience.

Disney doesn't just build rides and entertainment you, they treat you like you are the only family that matter. From the CEO to the person who empties the trash around the park, somehow, even though you walk around with 10,000-20,000 other customers, you feel like its all about you. You feel like they built the park for you and to give your kids the greatest memories of their lives.

It's the way they serve you, the way they care about customer service, how they listen to you that makes the biggest difference. When you do more than just provide your product or service and you go that extra mile, your customer starts to believe your rhetoric about wanting to be more than just a Donut Shop, a Realtor, or a IT Support Team. They begin to see you as caring - and they begin to trust you.

With trust, comes followership. And with real followership, you get devoted clients that want you to succeed. You get lots of testimonials.

Frankly, testimonials come when you earn them - when you have Integrity. And like earning trust with friends and family, its more than just saying you are trustworthy, its about BEing trustworthy.

So if you want testimonials, become who you say you are - not in your eyes, but in the eyes of your customers. And remember, testimonials don't come from saying your good, they come when the customer walks away from the experience feeling that their life has been changed. They come when your clients believe in you and trust you enough to let you put their name next to yours.

Be Willing To Give Up Everything To Get What You Want

Everyone wants to make their dreams come true (The Cinderella Story) - but wanting a dream to happen isn't enough. To create the world you want - to create your dream - you must be willing to give up everything you have. For those who have nothing, that's easy. But for those who actually have a good life or a good business, that's easy said than done.

Each and every one of us has created the world we live in, through our actions, our thoughts and our habits. And as long as we continue to do the same things we've always done and think the same thoughts we've always thought - we will continue to have the same life we've always had - not the one we want.

Unfortunately, creating something different, requires doing different things as well as thinking differently. And this scares the hell out of many people, because it means that they "may" get what they want, but then again, the "may" fail in trying to do so, and lose what they had.

Jim Collins, in his landmark book, Good to Great, states that Good is the ENEMY of Great. What he means by this is that when you have a good life, you will most likely never create a great life. And that is simply because you won't have the drive, the passion, nor the commitment to give up your "Good" life, for the risk of maybe creating a "Great" life or maybe losing everything you already had.

When I start working with clients, the first questions I ask them is "What do you want?" and "What do you want to create with your life / business?" Some have answers, and some don't. But before we can go any further in the coaching process, we must truly gain an understanding what they want. And, often to their dismay, we work on it until we find the answer.

And thus, after knowing what they want to create, I ask them the toughest questions of all, "Are you committed to your goal or vision? Are you willing to give up everything you currently have to create what you want?"

For most people, they've never been challenged in this manner. They've never been asked to give up anything before - let alone everything. But 99 out of 100 times, that is exactly what it takes.

Wait though!!! Before you freak out and think that I'm telling you to give everything up, I didn't say that - What I did say was that you had to be WILLING to give it all up - WILLING to trade what you have for something better. You may not have to. But through the willingness to give it all up, you begin to understand what commitment is.

Think about it. Think back to the biggest commitment you have probably ever made in your life - the commitment to your spouse - to your marriage. Men, before you got done on one knee (if any one still does that), you had to ask yourself and respond affirmatively, "Am I willing to give up the life that I currently have to make something better with the woman I love?" And Women, before you said yes, you had to ask yourself the same question about the man you love. That is the most common example of "willingness" to give up everything you have to create something better, that nearly everyone can understand. That is true commitment.

So, before you step forward and say, "I want more sales." or "I want to make my business run better." STOP. And ask yourself, am I truly committed or do I just want it. Because I'm convinced that if you are truly committed and willing to give up everything you have, you can make it happen. But if you aren't willing to commit COMPLETELY, then quite honestly, you are wasting your time, effort, and money.

Learn Some Integrity from "Sully"

A couple weeks ago, Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger was the heroic pilot of US Air's Flight 1549 that ended up miraculously safely ditching his plane in the Hudson River - with no casualties. Instantly "Sully" became a national hero.

We see stories like this all the time, but to much dismay, we soon find out that our hero's Integrity is only paper thin. It was more that he was in the right place at the right time, than anything else. But not the case with Chesley Sullenberger. From everything I can tell, he's the real deal - he not only talks the talk, but he also walks the walk.

Yesterday morning, while driving to visit with a client, I was taken aback by a story (discussed on the Glenn Beck Radio Show) that brings out the depth of Sully's Integrity. While Tom Daschle, Secretary of Health and Human Services, is being accused of failing to pay taxes owed, and Michael Phelps is making headlines about smoking "who knows what", "Sully" is calling the library in his hometown to tell them that he will not be able to return the book that he has out.

As it turns out, the book that he checked out a couple weeks ago, is now at the bottom of the Hudson River. That's right, "Sully" believes so much in what Intergrity, that he is calling his local library to apologize for the book that was lost when he was saving the lives of the people on board Flight 1549, and he wanted to let them know so he could take care of any penalty.

Can you see the difference between these men? Can you see that Integrity stands for something in today's society? I don't kow about you, but regardless of the position, I would rather have "Sully" on my team, than either of these other two individuals. Skills can be taught. Knowledge can be transferred. But teaching someone motiviation and / or integrity is near impossible.

So when you are looking for new employees, stop and ask yourself, "Do you want employees that know the right thing to do or employees that will do the right thing?"

Oh by the way, the book "Sully" checked out and ended up at the bottom of the Hudson River was Practical Ethics, by Peter Singer.

Good guys finish . . .

Interesting. Yesterday, I held my first seminar, entitled "Four Critical Principles to Surviving a Recession". And one of the topics I spoke about, Taking Care of Your Existing Customers, was the topic for Seth Godin's blog (in a round about way).

Specifically, Seth responded to a comment he received from another article about whether "Good Guys" can be successful in today's market. I agree with his position completely (and my clients hear it regularly). In fact, I believe strong ethics focused on taking care of your customers is critical in today's market and a sure way to shoot to the top of your industry.

Unfortunately, living with integrity is very hard. Especially when so few around us do - it can be incredibly discouraging. But, the truth is, in today's world, you can't afford not to - which is why I think so many small business owners struggle.

Competition in nearly every industry is tighter than ever before. And in today's communication driven world - word spreads of "unethical" behavior faster than ever. In the past, if you failed to meet your commitments to a customer (operating without integrity) they would yell at you, tell a few people and that would be that. You would definitely lose one customer - maybe three or four, but the damage could be contained.

Not any more.

Today, with the power of the internet, emails, and text messaging, angry customers can send vile words to thousands of friends and family (as well as strangers) in a single key stroke - damaging your reputation in a matter of nanoseconds.

In fact, some time ago, when doing research on a company that I was helping, I found some feedback that was not only negative - but was "over the top" damaging. The worst part was that this negative feedback was on the front page of the feedback list - after nearly three years. And no matter how many good reviews would get entered, this one negative one kept showing it's ugly face.

So, I agree with Seth Godin, good guys finish first . . . so live your life and run your business with integrity each and every day - the payoffs will be more than just feeling good about yourself.