Leveraging The Talents of Moms (Part IV)

The past three days, I have walked you though different elements including: How Moms are An Untapped Marketing Resource, How the relationship can be a Win / Win for All Concerned, and how it is important to understand the uniqueness of being a Mom and that it's important to help them with A Balancing Act / Releasing the Guilt.

The final blog of this four part series, Leveraging The Talents of Moms, is about Flexibility and Support - what can be done to help Moms get themselves out into the workplace and what employers can do to help them become the best employees they can be.

So, to wrap up this series and blend all the ideas together, it is important to understand and apply the most important concept of all - Moms need flexibility and support.

For Business Owners:

As I have spoken about in the past couple days, life as a Mom is complicated - more so than the average "non-Mom". Rather than just caring for themselves, Moms are always caring and nurturing others - at a minimum, they are caring for their child(ren) and often their husband.

They give and give, and quite often get little in return.

Let's face it, as I spoke about in part three, you, as a business owner / employer play second fiddle to Mom's first priority - her kids. But that doesn't mean that she can't give you as much if not more than anyone else. In fact, I have found it is exactly her commitment to her children that makes her such a wonderful asset to any business.

However, there is a cost. That cost is that you should build into your business model flexibility and support for the Moms on your staff - and the returns you gather from it will be amazing.

What does this mean:

- Plan ahead - This applies with just about any employee, but more so with Moms. Their life is very hectic and time is limited. In fact, I haven't met a Mom yet that wouldn't love to slow down the earth's rotation enough to get them 2 more hours every day. This means that the more time you can give them when there are changes to their schedule or you need more time from them, the better. It's not to say they can't or won't support you, its just that while you and I might be able to stay late to finish a very important project, Moms have someone that needs to be picked up or attended to. It's just not that easy to flex.

- Give them the ability to work from home - If you can manage it, giving a Mom time to work from home, can be the greatest gift you can give them. Even, if they might still need to get a babysitter, just knowing they are close to their children, gives them a strong feeling of strength and power. And that gives them focus to perform at a whole other level for you.

- Be understanding when they can't get in - Let's face it, kids get sick far more often than adults - and 99% of the time, the person who is going to stay home with their kids is Dr. Mom. This goes back to the statement above - give them the ability to work from home, empower them and they will surprise you with their commitment. It's not every employer that is so understanding of their situation - they will do everything they can to make it work and not blow your trust.

- Sit down with them at least bi-weekly to discuss how things are working - This isn't just something you should do with your Moms on staff - but with all your employees. It's just good management. Get to know the situation and work together to solve issues that are preventing them. A lesson I learned a long time ago, as a Ensign in the Navy, is that a manager's job is to remove the barriers preventing their employees from being able to do their best work. No where does this hold true more so than with Moms in the workplace. But as I've said before, the pay off is amazing.

For Moms:

Having tools or systems that help you balance your life is key. In fact, it's key to anything in life - finding ways to remain able to consistently deliver, even in the face of adversity and / or "unexpected" situations - which is daily in the life of all the Moms I know.

Sure, when the kids wake up on time, get dressed, eat and make the bus on time, everything is grand. But how often do things go "as planned" with kids involved. Someone always has a belly ache, has peanut butter in their hair, needs their diaper changed, or is just crying, just when you are on your last nerve. It's Murphy's Law. And you KNOW you can count on it.

So, what can you do? How do you live your life spontaneously (as so many of us love to do), but still make sure that you are able to deliver on promises - the essence of both being a Mom, a Wife, an Employee, a Business Owner, and a Woman?

You stop trying to live your life trying to manage the time in your days. Instead you need to start managing your life around your priorities, day-to-day, week-to-week, and month-to-month, etc. And that starts with first understanding and writing down the priorities in your life - what matters to you today and where you want to be 1 yr, 5 yrs, 10 yrs and for the rest of your life.

Call it a Personal Vision, a Vision Board, a Mission Statement, I don't care. In truth it doesn't matter what you call it - so long as you have one.

Once you have a Vision to guide you, it's time to figure out goals to support that vision. Goals that will drive your actions each and every day, instead of just running from crisis to crisis.

Your goals need to be built with the realization that it isn't HUGE short term goals that make a difference in your life - as much as we want it to be. But instead, it's long term, lifestyle goals that enable and encourage you to take small steps, every day to create lasting change in your life.

Too often, Moms (as well as everyone else out there) take on way TOO much when they try to change their lives - or get back the ones they use to have. Summer is coming up, and they want to get back into a bikini to sit by the pool. Their two year is learning to potty train - and they see a great window of opportunity. And they decide to take on a part time job in the afternoon for a friend to help their store.

So they change their diet, begin the arduous process of potty training a toddler and go back to work all at the same time - all while still being a stay-at-home Mom, managing the household and trying to be a good wife.

Something has got to give, and if you don't think about it ahead of time, it won't be want you want it to be. It will most likely be everything at once.

Ughhhh!

It's not that you can't do all these things, its just that you can't do them all EVERY DAY. You have to plan out change if you really want it to hold. And if you really want the change to be permanent, the key isn't doing it all at once, but instead working into one step at a time - making sure that each step you take is one step forward, and not two steps back.

This isn't easy - because if you don't stay grounded, you WILL try to run forward as fast as you can at some point - putting short term wants ahead of long term goals. It takes patience and consistency. It takes daily commitment to the long term and integrity. But, in my opinion what it takes more than anything is someone, an outside objective observer, who is committed to your goals and your system, even when you feel like giving up. It takes an accountability partner who will how you to your word and keep you moving forward, even when you don't feel like you can anymore.

It doesn't matter who you find, but find someone that you can talk to every day . . . that won't judge you. Won't get emotional about your situation. Won't let you make excuses. But . . . will stand beside you and help you, when you need it most and do so because he / she is committed to you and your goals as much if not more than you are.

Find yourself a coach / mentor / guide that no matter what . . . will be there every day, keeping you on track and moving forward.

Bottom line, for both employers and Moms, there is a symbiotic relationship that can exist here - one that will benefit EVERYONE. It can be a relationship that can and will make a difference in both of your lives as well as the business. But it takes flexibility and support - and real commitment. And you either need to find a way to support each other, working dynamically to work towards and achieve both of your goals, or find someone who can help you both do just that.

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If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at coach.jj@impossiblefutures.com.

Leveraging The Talents Of Moms (Part III)

The last two days, on this site, I've introduced you to Leveraging the Talents of Moms with parts I and II, An Untapped Marketing Resource and Win-Win for All Concerned, respectively.

Today, it's time to talk about A Balancing Act / Releasing the Guilt - Managing home responsibilities with commitments to business.

Understanding how to leverage the talents of Moms requires a keen understanding of Moms - (ladies feel free to chime in on this one - remember, I am a guy, so I don't want to go too far here with out your approval - or you correcting me).

*** Note: I say understanding of Moms, not women. There is a difference - there is a change that takes place - whether it is physiological, psychological or both doesn't matter - it's important that neither men or (non-Mom) women really understand.

Truth is, up until the day women become pregnant, they are much more like men - but when that day arrives, when the "rabbit dies" (as the saying goes), everything in their life changes. And those changes aren't for nine months, ten years, or even eighteen years - becoming a Mom is a permanent life changing experience. Sure, we Dads are changed as well, when we have a kid - but don't kid yourself Men, we can't hold a candle to the ladies on this one.

Before pregnancy, we are all "mostly" self-centered. Sure, we might love others, and give a lot of ourselves to our spouses and other relatives - but on the whole, that "giving" is nothing like becoming a Mom.

Why this is important to understand is that Mom's have a tough struggle - trying to figure out how to give all they want to give to their children (and their spouses), while still having an identity and even a professional life. It's a balancing act, trying to find an equilibrium between their own needs and the needs of the family they love so dearly.

For Business Owners:

So if you, as a business owner, want to leverage the talents of Moms, you need to understand this balancing act - understand that there is still amazing talent that is within the heart and soul of Moms, its just that their NUMBER ONE COMMITMENT will always be to their children - its instinctual. It is going to happen. You are going to come up number two (at best) in their mind - overall.

The reason I bring up this "balancing act" and commitment to children, is because you can't win this battle - you can not change the way a Mom thinks. When the kids get the sniffles, she is going to stay home. When snow falls and the kids stay home from school, most of the time, its Mom that is going to stay home - not Dad. Get over it and stop resisting it.

So when the Eight Week point comes after the baby is born, and maternity leave is over, understand that the employee you are getting back in not the same one that left. If you didn't see the change before she left, you are definitely see one now. The key is learning what to do and how to work with it, instead of against it. Because believe it or not, even though you have dropped a peg or two in the priority level in her mind, as long as you respect and understand her new "situation", her dedication to you overall has most likely gone up immensely.

The root key to it all is helping them satisfy their number one commitment as easily and smoothly as possible, so that they have more time and energy for you when they are working for you.

If you want to understand how best to not just make the best of this situation, but actually turn it into a windfall for you, check out tomorrow's Blog, Flexibility and Support - The key to working with Moms is understanding their situation and working with them / not against them - No short-term Deadlines.

For Moms:

Ladies, this balancing act is real - or should I call it a juggling act. You have gone from trying to juggling three (plus) balls - your personal needs, your professional needs, and the needs of your spouse - to juggling six or more (yeah, I think caring for a child is a three ball juggling act all by itself). Throw in a second baby, and YEOW, we're talking ready for Ringling Brothers.

So what are you to do? How do you juggle six balls (or more) with only two hands.

Well to be honest, you don't. Sounds crazy . . . I know. But the answer is that simple.

You see, most Moms try to juggle six or more balls at once and usually end up dropping at least one or two every cycle. Who suffers, usually YOU first, hubby second, and then work third.

So rather than juggling six at once, put two on the floor gently or hand them to someone else for a short period and then juggle four.

How do you do this, without pissing off the two balls laying on the floor? Well, you rotate the two balls on the floor. Yep. You commit yourself to juggling what you can, right now, successfully, and let the other two just stand-by, until you are ready for them. Until you can successfully put one or two of the others balls down and pick them up.

Ok, now that I have completely confused you, let me drop the juggling idea and jump right into reality.

You are NOT going to have time to give to yourself, your husband, your job and your child(ren) everyday. Something has to give. Or you will burn yourself out and lose one or all of them along the way. So rather than trying to being everything to everyone EVERY DAY, plan time to be everything to each one, at specific times during the week.

If you are a stay-at-home Mom, that might mean that work only gets your attention 2-3 days a week (when you can give it your full attention), but on those days your Husband doesn't get much more than a hug and kiss in the morning and evening. Then maybe your own growth gets one day's worth of full attention. And you set up special time for your husband on the other days - when you can be with him completely.

The key here is to stop trying to give a little bit all the time to everyone, and start giving your best to each of them periodically, based on priority in your life.

The reason this idea works, is that it helps you release the guilt of not giving completely to things that matter. Each moment you spend with someone or doing something important, you give yourself to them / it completely - whether its your job, your husband, your kids, or even YOU.

You can give yourself without guilt of who is getting left out, because you know you have given to them completely - and you will again. One of my clients recently shared with me how this idea works for her:

The reason I love this process so much is because it helps you to BALANCE your life so that you are doing what matters to you in your family life and other relationships as well as accomplishing your business goals at the same time. On those days where I am doing more in one area, I know that I can balance it out the next day and not feel guilty.

Bottom line is you have to find balance - stop trying to be everything to everyone, every day. Give yourself completely and "guiltlessly" one at a time to the things that matter most to you and you will find yourself happier and 10x more productive than you ever thought possible.

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If you are a small business owner and / or a Mom that wants to understand how best to maintain Balance and release the guilt that so often stifles growth, please feel free to contact me, at coach.jj@impossiblefutures.com.

Leveraging The Talents Of Moms (Part II)

Yesterday, in Part I of this 4 Part Blog about Leveraging the Power of Moms, I spoke about the untapped "network" marketing resource that Moms are - especially for small businesses. I went into the basics of how Moms can be incredible Networking sources for businesses they patronize (as a small business owner) and how Moms can leverage what they already do . . . every day . . . to generate income and help their friends and family.

Sounds like a win-win for all concerned, which is the great transition to today's topic.

Win-Win For All Concerned - the talent pool is very deep and there is a desire to be a part of something bigger than themselves.

How many stay-at-home Moms do you know?

How many Moms do you know want to stay-at-home, but don't know how to do it financially?

How many of those Moms have more talent and capacity to help others (whether it be businesses, friends or families) than they are currently able to realize - let alone be compensated for?

In case you are wondering, as of 2007, there were an estimated 5.6 Million Stay-At-Home Moms in the US and over 11.4 Million Single Moms who almost always are looking for ways to be better Moms while supporting their children.

So how can this work out for both Moms and the business community? How can this be a Win-Win for businesses and Moms where everyone is getting what they need?

Well to be honest, it starts with understanding each others needs and desires and being creative in trying to make those .

What Do Today's Businesses Need?

More than anything, today's businesses need employees that are committed to their vision - willing to give of themselves to the business as the owner does.

But they need more as well. They need expertise in areas outside of their own - outside the technical aspects of their business.

They need organizational help - putting everything in its place and making sure there is a place for everything in the business.

They need administrative help - handling paper work, taking care of administrative tasks that they just aren't good at.

They need help with dealing with customers - trusting people who understand their customers and will treat them the way the owner wants them to be treated.

They need marketing / network help - finding new customers and getting them to walk through the doors or call on phone (which was the topic in Part I).

And in most cases, small business owners can not afford to hire someone full time to do any of this work - so the work doesn't get done . . . and they stagnate in the ability to grow their business.

What do Mom's Need?

More than anything, most Mom's need to find a way to continue to grow and contribute outside of their children - contribute to their family financially, the community, to something bigger than themselves, and to have a feeling of independence (even within the context of a very loving relationship).

It's not a matter of not wanting to be there for their kids (that's why they choose the life they choose) - it's a matter of maintaining a connection with the outside in such a way as to both keep their finger on the pulse of adult life and nurture other elements of their needs - that our culture has nurtured in their psyche.

Some Of Strongest Long Term Bonds Between Boss And Employee Start This Way

It's amazing when I look back at my life and the relationships that I have seen grow between Moms who started part-time with an employer to help out and where they have gone.

A Stay-At-Home Mom, friend of the family, with gifted administrative skills who came in 3 days a week for a couple hours a day to help my Dad in the Mortgage Business he was running - that was 25 years ago. My Father has retired, but she is the right hand of my brother who stepped in to his shoes.

A Stay-At-Home Mom, with natural sales gifts, offers to help a friend sell his product and goes on to become a partner in the business. That business was just a small business when the two teamed up with sales less than $100,000 annually. Now the business is booming with over 50 employees, and sales estimated this year of $15 Million.

A Single Mom, in order to make a little extra money on the weekends starts doing accounting work for her accountant. Takes the money she earned with the part support to put her son through college and pay off her home 10 years early - giving her financial independence and strength to start her own Accounting Business.

All It Takes Is Asking Questions And Listening

Whether you are a small business owner or a Mom, there are no magic tricks here. What it takes is knowing who you are, what you are need and are willing to provide to fulfill those needs, and understanding the needs of those around you.

In each case, the relationships I described above started when two people stopped long enough to become more than just casual friends and listen to each other and understand their needs. Because you will be amazed at how much can be gained by understanding others - and reaching out to serve them as well as allowing them to serve you.

A List Of Web Pages To Check Out

Finally, to close out this part, whether you are a Business Person or a Mom, check out the following web pages to find out how to take advantage of these ideas and create a Win-Win that will change the lives of all involved

Work At Home Moms

Mom's Network

MomAdvice.com

Mom's Club

A Mother's Day Gift of Thanks

Today is Mother's Day and I don't care who you are, it is a day of very special importance, because everyone has a Mom. Remember, Mother's Day isn't about what she didn't do for you, it's instead all about celebrating the special gift that our Mother's have given us every day of our lives.

For those of you that know me, this may not come as a surprise. But of all the people in my life, my Mother has given me more to help me become who I am than anyone else on this earth.

Besides the obvious gift of life, my Mom, Pat Reich, gave me a gift I know I will never be able to repay. She gave me the gift of "Self Confidence". And it is so deeply ingrained in my psyche that I believe I can do what ever I set my mind to - overcome any obstacle and achieve anything I want.

For as long as I can remember, she loved me very deeply - and did all the things that Moms do best (wipe your nose, pick at your, make you brush your teeth and cook your favorite meal on special occasions). But she did so much more. My Mom helped me feel like I was the most special person on this earth. She gave me an aura of "belief in myself" - a gift that to this very day drives me forward in ways that I cannot express.

No matter who you are or what you are doing, if your Mom is still with you, take a moment out of your busy day and call or visit her. Make her day as special as she has made yours for so long. Or, if your Mom has passed, set aside a couple moments to reflect on her - all that she gave of herself for you.

She may not have been the perfect Mom, but she was perfect enough to give you life and the opportunity to make a difference in this world. It is your choice to make it real.

With all my the love that I know, Thank You Mom.

I Love You.