It has been quite some time since I last wrote in this blog. I have a number of reasons . . . but they are all excuses. And although we all think our reasons are "valid", I don't want to disrespect you or waste your time by pretending they are justified. Suffice it to say that I let life get in the way.
If you are coming back and enjoying my blog again after my long hiatus, Thank You. I appreciate the second chance.
Or if you are a first time reader, I hope you enjoy.
Either way, I hope to incite some conversation about business and life. And I look forward to engaging with you through discussion and generating new and insight methods to deal with the struggles that we all face in both our business and in our every day lives. And even more so, I hope that I can show that as much as we all try to separate the two, Business and Life, the two are so closely related, that it's often hard to tell where one end and the other begins.
So, without further ado, let me get back to blogging . . .
I had an interesting conversation with a good friend of mine yesterday about a simple concept that I've written about before, but I think warrants new light to be shown on the topic.
You can't manage . . . or improve consistently, what you don't measure.
What do you truly want to change in your business or in your life? When it comes to your goals, what do you want? Where would you like to be tomorrow . . . next month . . . or even next year?
If you are you thinking from a business perspective, you might be looking for more sales, more new clients, decreased costs or maybe more market share?
Or maybe your goals are more personal in nature. More income? Weight loss? Healthier lifestyle? Lower cholesterol? Or maybe a better education?
What would make you happy?
Time and time again, the more I live, the more I see a pattern . . . if you set and commit to a goal (a specific, measurable goal), measure your progress consistently over the entire time span of the goal, you can't help but begin to see improvement, towards the goal, if not complete fulfillment of that goal.
Are things going to change right away? Absolutely NOT!
But they will change. Not because of something magical that happens when you set and measure goals. No, life doesn't work that way. Things change because YOU will start making a difference in the way you behave - you will begin to change the way you behave, if for no other reason because you will get tired of facing the failure each and every day of not improving.
Will you get it right the first time? Possibly, but not always. You will have to "adjust fire" (as the Army likes to say - correcting for missing the target on the first shot), but if you are measuring and you have defined goals, you will be more likely to find the combination that gives you the best opportunity to be "more right" with each subsequent change.
Why is Goal Setting and Measuring Results So Hard?
Unfortunately, in spite of the simplicity of these ideas, we still struggle. In fact, what we all, as flawed human beings, tend to do is to say we want something, and then NOT put into place the systems we need to make sure we actually to ensure our success.
We do this by:
1. Not measuring what we want to improve. We leave our goal nebulous and random so that we can make growth towards that goal COMPLETELY at our emotional whim. If we feel good about what we have done, we say we fulfilled our goal. When we don't feel good about how we are doing, we say we failed. Either way we move on - forgetting (intentionally or unintentionally) what the original goal really was in the first place.
2. Not measuring "interim results" or "the process". Sometimes the end results are a long time coming - or just plain difficult to measure. When this occurs, it's important to set up measurements that are either direct inputs into the results you want, are by-products of your achievements, or are associated with the process you are going to take toward your desired goal. In cases like this, we know that if we follow a process, record the progress (as small as it might be) and measure our consistency, we will see results.
3. Giving up at the first sign of failure (or we don't put into place systems / methods for correcting our mistakes, when the growth doesn't occur as we expected it to occur). This is the number one cause of failing to reach our goals. We set a goal, start down the path to make it a reality, and then give up at the first sign of failure - or we think that since things are going as well as we had hoped (i.e. perfectly) then we just aren't meant to have what we want.
I know these all sound silly to read, but everyone I know and ever spoken to about success, including myself, has seen each and every one of these - at some time during their lives. And if you are honest with yourself, I suspect you will find each of these three struggles in your life too.
Keep It Simple
As simple as the struggle may seem, in my opinion, the solution is ever easier.
Stop over thinking things and keep it simple.
If you want to create a change in your business or in your personal life:
- DEFINE IT. Write down your goals and face them every day. Don't think because you said them once or thought about them, that you will actually remember them as you go about making decisions each and every minute of the day.
- MEASURE IT. Measure daily how you are progressing towards your goals - either directly or indirectly through a process or series of related steps.
- DON'T QUIT. It's inevitable - something will happen that you didn't expect or plan for and you will feel discouraged. No goal worth having doesn't involve some hardship along the way. No matter what the cause of your struggle, stay focused on what you want and make it happen in spite of the setback.
- MAKE ADJUSTMENTS until you find the right answer. There is a path to each destination - some are easier to find than others. If your first path didn't work, figure out what didn't work for you and make corrections so that you don't make the same mistake again.
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So, let me ask you, "What things do you want to change in YOUR BUSINESS or in YOUR LIFE?"
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Monday, April 26, 2010
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Why Don't You Treat EVERYTHING Like A Game?
"Why do you treat everything like a game?" Those are the words I heard a 30 something man angrily YELL at his young son, as he went to wash his hands in a public bathroom.
You see, the son, who obviously had been taught to wash his hands after using the toilet, was getting reprimanded because he had made "hand washing" fun. And, much to the dismay of his father, it was taking the young lad longer (and making a bit more of a mess) than Dad had wanted it to. Besides, according to the Dad's point of view, it was obvious that hand washing was just something you did - not something you enjoyed doing.
What do you think that does to the desire for the son to wash his hands next time?
Will he wash now that it can't be fun as well as he would have, when it was a game to him?
I doubt it.
In fact, in my opinion, this father, completely unknowingly, is teaching his son a very powerful, yet damaging lesson. The lesson being that there are things that you have to do in life that you simply have to do. You shouldn't have fun doing them - you should just do them, and be miserable like me (and my Dad before me).
Today, it was washing his hands. Next week, it will be homework or mowing the lawn. And eventually it will be work, marriage and even life itself.
The gift of youth is that we look to make everything a game. We look to have fun in every thing we do - and it comes out most obviously, when parents make their kids do something they don't want them to do.
In fact, with infants, we even teach them HOW to do this ourselves. Don't believe me? Have you ever pretended the fork was an airplane, flying in circles and delivering the mouthful of peas (that you child won't eat on his own) to his or her mouth. Do you not try to make eating foods you don't like into a game?
But somehow, somewhere, we have were taught that life isn't supposed to be fun or a game - it's supposed to be serious and no fun at all. And although we might not intend to pass this outlook on to our kids, by the time they reach adolescence, most kids have given up on making things they don't like fun, and only look at those chores as work.
But is that what we should be teaching to our kids or even to ourselves?
I hope not.
If you ask me, if people just spent a little bit of their time at work and in their life figuring out how to have fun doing what they have to do - making it a game, two things would happen:
1. They would smile a lot more and actually look forward to the things they used to dread doing.
2. Their productivity would increase dramatically - probably in the area of 50-100% simply because we always try harder in games that we like than those we don't.
So I ask you . . .
Why don't YOU treat everything like a game?
You see, the son, who obviously had been taught to wash his hands after using the toilet, was getting reprimanded because he had made "hand washing" fun. And, much to the dismay of his father, it was taking the young lad longer (and making a bit more of a mess) than Dad had wanted it to. Besides, according to the Dad's point of view, it was obvious that hand washing was just something you did - not something you enjoyed doing.
What do you think that does to the desire for the son to wash his hands next time?
Will he wash now that it can't be fun as well as he would have, when it was a game to him?
I doubt it.
In fact, in my opinion, this father, completely unknowingly, is teaching his son a very powerful, yet damaging lesson. The lesson being that there are things that you have to do in life that you simply have to do. You shouldn't have fun doing them - you should just do them, and be miserable like me (and my Dad before me).
Today, it was washing his hands. Next week, it will be homework or mowing the lawn. And eventually it will be work, marriage and even life itself.
The gift of youth is that we look to make everything a game. We look to have fun in every thing we do - and it comes out most obviously, when parents make their kids do something they don't want them to do.
In fact, with infants, we even teach them HOW to do this ourselves. Don't believe me? Have you ever pretended the fork was an airplane, flying in circles and delivering the mouthful of peas (that you child won't eat on his own) to his or her mouth. Do you not try to make eating foods you don't like into a game?
But somehow, somewhere, we have were taught that life isn't supposed to be fun or a game - it's supposed to be serious and no fun at all. And although we might not intend to pass this outlook on to our kids, by the time they reach adolescence, most kids have given up on making things they don't like fun, and only look at those chores as work.
But is that what we should be teaching to our kids or even to ourselves?
I hope not.
If you ask me, if people just spent a little bit of their time at work and in their life figuring out how to have fun doing what they have to do - making it a game, two things would happen:
1. They would smile a lot more and actually look forward to the things they used to dread doing.
2. Their productivity would increase dramatically - probably in the area of 50-100% simply because we always try harder in games that we like than those we don't.
So I ask you . . .
Why don't YOU treat everything like a game?
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Life Is NOT Easy - Stop Thinking It Should Be
I don't care who you are or what your personal circumstances are - life is not easy. In fact, it's downright hard. If it wasn't, then we would all be bored out of our minds. It is the human condition to create strife (whether by choice or circumstance) and to challenge ourselves to overcome it. It is the struggle of life or as Buddhists put it, "It is suffering".
From old to young, short to tall, rich, poor, Black, White, Latino, Native American, Catholic, Muslin, Jew, French, Japanese, or American, it doesn't matter, we live the circumstances we have been given. But, we choose the life we will have tomorrow.
This is the principle that we will be held accountable to our choices. Even though we may not have intentionally chosen the results, we did make the choices that led to those results.
The sooner we accept this fact, the quicker we can begin to change our current condition.
The Reality Behind The Power Of Choice
Let's face it. It's easy to feel sorry for yourself or anyone else because either you or they are repressed, deprived, starving or in other atrocious conditions. But, the truth is, every day, we all make choices to either perpetuate our current conditions or to change them. The fact that you aren't aware of this fact, doesn't make it less true - it only makes you ignorant.
I know this sounds harsh. But if you don't believe that you have a choice in your response to the conditions in your life, then you really have no hope to change your life - and you are forced to rely only on blind faith - and "hope" that someone or something will create happiness and success for you.
I'm not buying it. The way I see it, without accepting the idea that life is about liberty, freedom, and choices that you make in response to your circumstances every day, your existence becomes what others (friends, family, your Government, or your God) choose for you. And you are just living out what good (or bad) fortune life, God, or others bestow upon you.
Don't Give Up The Ability To Choose Your Own Life
Rather than looking at your condition as something out of your control, change it. Make a different choice that is different than the one you chose yesterday. Look not only at your current situation, but also the one you want to create and make you decisions based more on what you want tomorrow, the next day, or ten years from now, than what you want. . . right now.
I believe we make our life what it is - choose who we are and what we have - by how we respond to our circumstances. I don't care who you are, someone on this earth has now or has had in the past worse than you - and overcame it to make their life GREAT. The only real difference between the person living in strife and the person living in happiness is the choices they have made.
Stop blaming and make a change.
Most Don't Want To Believe This To Be True
The reason this is such an unpopular opinion is because so many, who don't have the life they want, don't want to admit that they don't have what they want, because they choose not to. They don't want to face the fact that their life could have been different (or even could be different), if only they had made different chooses in the past or even right now. They don't want to acknowledge that they may have been able to create the life they wanted, had they only realized the power was within them.
Those are hard things to face - but they are the truth.
It's Not Just A Matter Of Perspective
Sure, I've been dealt a pretty easy hand - a loving family that has supported me, a good education that has given me opportunities that I never would have thought possible, and genetics that have enabled me to be "lazy" with my habits and still maintain a relatively healthy body. My circumstances have been easier than most. So maybe it's easier for me to say these things.
However, that doesn't mean that I have been given everything I want - nor everything I need to make me happy.
Circumstance and fortune are wonderful things if they line up in your favor, But it is still your responsibility to choose the right path - often the hard path to get what you want.
An Easy Life Doesn't Guarantee Happiness or Success
Frankly, a life without strife and hardship to overcome, although easy, is a double edge sword - because nothing great lasts forever and past happiness and success doesn't guarantee more of the same in the future.
Additionally, the one thing in life that you can count on is change. Unlike those who battle daily - overcoming their struggles - those who have been given everything, or had it "easy" as a child or even as an adult, often hit a wall, when they face real life struggles - circumstances which they did not foresee that are devastating to their current condition.
The rich turn to drugs and alcohol at alarming rates. Divorce rates are higher in the more advanced "Western" cultures than in less sophisticated third world countries. And the suicide rates of "well to-do Executives" are as high if not higher than those of inner city homeless people.
If happiness and success were dependent solely on circumstance, none of these things would be true.
Look at your own life, did you learn and grow more from the things that came easy to you, or those that you earned. Do you respect yourself more or feel more pride in your efforts if what you achieve comes to you easily or as a result of considerable effort.
Bottom line is that your life isn't defined by your circumstances, but instead by your choices.. Life is a balance of opportunity and misfortune. And happiness and success exist in our lives based on the choices we make given the circumstances we face each and every day to create the world we want to live in. But don't kid yourself, just because you have the choice, doesn't make the choice easy. . . it only means that it's your to make.
From old to young, short to tall, rich, poor, Black, White, Latino, Native American, Catholic, Muslin, Jew, French, Japanese, or American, it doesn't matter, we live the circumstances we have been given. But, we choose the life we will have tomorrow.
This is the principle that we will be held accountable to our choices. Even though we may not have intentionally chosen the results, we did make the choices that led to those results.
The sooner we accept this fact, the quicker we can begin to change our current condition.
The Reality Behind The Power Of Choice
Let's face it. It's easy to feel sorry for yourself or anyone else because either you or they are repressed, deprived, starving or in other atrocious conditions. But, the truth is, every day, we all make choices to either perpetuate our current conditions or to change them. The fact that you aren't aware of this fact, doesn't make it less true - it only makes you ignorant.
I know this sounds harsh. But if you don't believe that you have a choice in your response to the conditions in your life, then you really have no hope to change your life - and you are forced to rely only on blind faith - and "hope" that someone or something will create happiness and success for you.
I'm not buying it. The way I see it, without accepting the idea that life is about liberty, freedom, and choices that you make in response to your circumstances every day, your existence becomes what others (friends, family, your Government, or your God) choose for you. And you are just living out what good (or bad) fortune life, God, or others bestow upon you.
Don't Give Up The Ability To Choose Your Own Life
Rather than looking at your condition as something out of your control, change it. Make a different choice that is different than the one you chose yesterday. Look not only at your current situation, but also the one you want to create and make you decisions based more on what you want tomorrow, the next day, or ten years from now, than what you want. . . right now.
I believe we make our life what it is - choose who we are and what we have - by how we respond to our circumstances. I don't care who you are, someone on this earth has now or has had in the past worse than you - and overcame it to make their life GREAT. The only real difference between the person living in strife and the person living in happiness is the choices they have made.
Stop blaming and make a change.
Most Don't Want To Believe This To Be True
The reason this is such an unpopular opinion is because so many, who don't have the life they want, don't want to admit that they don't have what they want, because they choose not to. They don't want to face the fact that their life could have been different (or even could be different), if only they had made different chooses in the past or even right now. They don't want to acknowledge that they may have been able to create the life they wanted, had they only realized the power was within them.
Those are hard things to face - but they are the truth.
It's Not Just A Matter Of Perspective
Sure, I've been dealt a pretty easy hand - a loving family that has supported me, a good education that has given me opportunities that I never would have thought possible, and genetics that have enabled me to be "lazy" with my habits and still maintain a relatively healthy body. My circumstances have been easier than most. So maybe it's easier for me to say these things.
However, that doesn't mean that I have been given everything I want - nor everything I need to make me happy.
Circumstance and fortune are wonderful things if they line up in your favor, But it is still your responsibility to choose the right path - often the hard path to get what you want.
An Easy Life Doesn't Guarantee Happiness or Success
Frankly, a life without strife and hardship to overcome, although easy, is a double edge sword - because nothing great lasts forever and past happiness and success doesn't guarantee more of the same in the future.
Additionally, the one thing in life that you can count on is change. Unlike those who battle daily - overcoming their struggles - those who have been given everything, or had it "easy" as a child or even as an adult, often hit a wall, when they face real life struggles - circumstances which they did not foresee that are devastating to their current condition.
The rich turn to drugs and alcohol at alarming rates. Divorce rates are higher in the more advanced "Western" cultures than in less sophisticated third world countries. And the suicide rates of "well to-do Executives" are as high if not higher than those of inner city homeless people.
If happiness and success were dependent solely on circumstance, none of these things would be true.
Look at your own life, did you learn and grow more from the things that came easy to you, or those that you earned. Do you respect yourself more or feel more pride in your efforts if what you achieve comes to you easily or as a result of considerable effort.
Bottom line is that your life isn't defined by your circumstances, but instead by your choices.. Life is a balance of opportunity and misfortune. And happiness and success exist in our lives based on the choices we make given the circumstances we face each and every day to create the world we want to live in. But don't kid yourself, just because you have the choice, doesn't make the choice easy. . . it only means that it's your to make.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Take Advantage of the New Beginnings of Spring
It's so funny, I know I say this during all of the four seasons, but Spring is definitely my favorite. I love the way it represents rebirth and renewal.
From lifelessness comes life and from black and white comes an abundant rainbow of colors.
This weekend I've had my kids - and we have enjoyed every minute of each day, playing outside, picnicking, and basking in the sunlight.
Not every day is perfect. But it sure can be close, when you commit to making it the best it can be.
The weekend might be over, but life and happiness don't end on Sunday night. Make a point to do something that will bring new hope and new life to you world every day this week.
- Go for a walk in the park at sunset
- Visit a friend you haven't seen for months
- Eat your lunch outside, with your shoes off - letting the grass wriggle through your toes.
- Rather than buying your Mom a gift this week for Mother's Day, do something really special, make something for her like you did in Kindergarten
- Do something for your significant other that you haven't done for them in a long time that you know they just LOVE.
It's May! The Sun is warm and the flowers are blooming. Make sure to live today like its your last day on earth, and at the same time like its the first day of the rest of your life - BECAUSE IT IS!
From lifelessness comes life and from black and white comes an abundant rainbow of colors.
This weekend I've had my kids - and we have enjoyed every minute of each day, playing outside, picnicking, and basking in the sunlight.
Not every day is perfect. But it sure can be close, when you commit to making it the best it can be.
The weekend might be over, but life and happiness don't end on Sunday night. Make a point to do something that will bring new hope and new life to you world every day this week.
- Go for a walk in the park at sunset
- Visit a friend you haven't seen for months
- Eat your lunch outside, with your shoes off - letting the grass wriggle through your toes.
- Rather than buying your Mom a gift this week for Mother's Day, do something really special, make something for her like you did in Kindergarten
- Do something for your significant other that you haven't done for them in a long time that you know they just LOVE.
It's May! The Sun is warm and the flowers are blooming. Make sure to live today like its your last day on earth, and at the same time like its the first day of the rest of your life - BECAUSE IT IS!
When you change how you look at life, you change the way your life looks.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Being Great In Life Is About Pursuing Your Passion
What is "Passion"?
My favorite definition is "boundless enthusiasm".
My own passion is personal and professional growth and leadership. And for those of you that don't know me personally, believe me when I say that I live, breath, eat, and often sleep thinking about them - often at cost of other things in my life.
It was and still is my passion for these things that drove me to become a coach - to give up what most would call a great occupation, a good life, a secure job, making good money and in the name of trying to do what I knew I was called to do - to help others pursue their passion and make it a reality.
So, do you have a "passion" in your life? For your job? For anything that you do?
When you are gone, are people going to look at you and say, "He pursued his dreams" or "He gave the world his best and he lived a Great Life. He may not have created exactly what he wanted, but he had passion and he did every thing he could to make his dreams come true."
Or are they going to say, "He worked hard and had a good life."
'Good' is a product of doing what you are supposed to. But 'Great' is a when you harness your passion to create something special - something that no one else can do as well as you.
We are all good at something - many of us are good at many things. And most of us live very content lives being good at what we do. But I'm not here to be good - I wasn't given the most precious gift that anyone could receive - LIFE - just to live a good life. And neither were you.
We were put here to pursue perfection - and doing anything less, is, in my humble opinion, not appreciating the gift we were given.
One of the greatest gifts that I got in my Junior High years came from my Seventh Grade Social Studies Teacher, Mr Crismond. Believe it or not, it was a homework assignment to read a book - that at the time, I thought sounded very childish. But nothing could be further from the truth. It is a book that walks you through the life of a creature that decided to leave the ordinary to pursue perfection - TO BE GREAT. That book was Jonathon Livingston Seagull, by Richard Bach.
If you haven't read it, your missing out.
If you have, I recommend reading it again. It's that powerful.
Jonathon was a seagull that dared to pursue something out of the ordinary - he dared to learn how to fly faster and higher than any other seagull had dared before. And it was his pursuit of these lofty goals - his vision - that is the story.
Are you living a good life? Is that all that you want? If you continue down the path that you are currently on, and you look back on your life, how are you going to feel? How do you want to feel? Are you going to be happy that your life was "good", but that maybe you could have been something more?
In the book, it's not the achievement of perfection that separated Jonathon from the rest of the seagulls - it was his desire to pursue it.
So, take some time out of your busy weekend - in between running the kids to sports games and sleep overs - and ask yourself, are you living a good life or are you chasing your passion and doing your best to live a Great Life.
My favorite definition is "boundless enthusiasm".
My own passion is personal and professional growth and leadership. And for those of you that don't know me personally, believe me when I say that I live, breath, eat, and often sleep thinking about them - often at cost of other things in my life.
It was and still is my passion for these things that drove me to become a coach - to give up what most would call a great occupation, a good life, a secure job, making good money and in the name of trying to do what I knew I was called to do - to help others pursue their passion and make it a reality.
So, do you have a "passion" in your life? For your job? For anything that you do?
When you are gone, are people going to look at you and say, "He pursued his dreams" or "He gave the world his best and he lived a Great Life. He may not have created exactly what he wanted, but he had passion and he did every thing he could to make his dreams come true."
Or are they going to say, "He worked hard and had a good life."
'Good' is a product of doing what you are supposed to. But 'Great' is a when you harness your passion to create something special - something that no one else can do as well as you.
We are all good at something - many of us are good at many things. And most of us live very content lives being good at what we do. But I'm not here to be good - I wasn't given the most precious gift that anyone could receive - LIFE - just to live a good life. And neither were you.
We were put here to pursue perfection - and doing anything less, is, in my humble opinion, not appreciating the gift we were given.
One of the greatest gifts that I got in my Junior High years came from my Seventh Grade Social Studies Teacher, Mr Crismond. Believe it or not, it was a homework assignment to read a book - that at the time, I thought sounded very childish. But nothing could be further from the truth. It is a book that walks you through the life of a creature that decided to leave the ordinary to pursue perfection - TO BE GREAT. That book was Jonathon Livingston Seagull, by Richard Bach.
If you haven't read it, your missing out.
If you have, I recommend reading it again. It's that powerful.
Jonathon was a seagull that dared to pursue something out of the ordinary - he dared to learn how to fly faster and higher than any other seagull had dared before. And it was his pursuit of these lofty goals - his vision - that is the story.
Are you living a good life? Is that all that you want? If you continue down the path that you are currently on, and you look back on your life, how are you going to feel? How do you want to feel? Are you going to be happy that your life was "good", but that maybe you could have been something more?
In the book, it's not the achievement of perfection that separated Jonathon from the rest of the seagulls - it was his desire to pursue it.
So, take some time out of your busy weekend - in between running the kids to sports games and sleep overs - and ask yourself, are you living a good life or are you chasing your passion and doing your best to live a Great Life.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Six Questions to Ask Before You Hire a Coach
Industry experts estimate the number of business / personal / life / executive coaches to be in excess of 30,000 and growing daily. So how do you know that the Coach you have found (or more likely has found you) is the right one for you and your needs? How do you know if they are what they say they are? And how do you know if they will in fact be able to help you?
Unfortunately, in spite of the efforts of a couple organizations trying to "police" the industry, there is no single entity that governs the coaching industry and controls any form of certification process. So in many ways, the process is up to you.
To help you navigate through the fog, here are 6 questions to ask a perspective coach before you make any hiring decisions. It's important to note that there are no right answers to any of these questions. It is through the process of asking that you will gain invaluable insight into the person you will be building a very deep, trusting relationship with.
1. How do you coach / What is your coaching process? There are as many coaching processes and systems as there are search results for the word "Coach" in Google (150,000,000 last time I checked). Regardless of their process though, every coach should be able to walk you through what they will do, how they will do it and what you should expect to see as results.
Funny thing is that no matter who many methods of coaching there are, at their core, they all come down to the same things. All coaches provide the following services at some form or another:
- Cheerleader
- Confidant / Trusted Agent
- Coach / Mentor
- Teacher
- Accountability Partner
- Objective Observer
- Therapist (at the lowest levels)
Listen for these words and make sure your perspective client touches some, most or even all of them.
Additionally, Coaches will meet with their clients at different intervals - ranging from as often as daily to as infrequently as quarterly. These intervals should be flexible (to meet YOUR needs, not theirs). However, if their system provides for embedded flexibility in other ways, they may be somewhat strict on how often they want to meet with you.
Truth is though, you know yourself better than anyone else. You know your habits and your limitations. Don't set yourself up for failure, by signing up for daily / weekly sessions when you know you won't commit to doing the work. And don't sign up for monthly / quarterly sessions if you know you are a procrastinator that needs more daily / weekly accountability. Find someone that will stretch you, but it HAS to be in a way that you will actually enjoy (at some level) - or you won't do it.
2. Why did you decide to become a coach? One of the most telling questions you can ask anyone, is "why they have chosen to do what they do". Not only does it give you insight behind their motivations, but when it comes to coaching, it is extremely important - because of the level of passion and commitment you will need - when you struggle with your own passion and commitment.
Obviously, there is no perfect answer to this question, but the answer will perfectly give you insight as to whether you can work with them.
3. What is your training / experience with regard to coaching me to reach my goals? What are your core areas of expertise? Every coach is going to try to solve problems based on their own personal experience and training. Obviously the more tools they have in their toolbox, the more likely there will be one that is perfect for every situation you might encounter. However, no one is an expert in all areas - with all tools. So if they tell you they are, they probably aren't very good with any of them.
Bottomline, it is important that your coach be able to communicate what they are best at and how that is going to help you reach your goals. But it is equally important for you to recognize when a coach's experience and training are not a match for you - regardless of their past successes. Listen to what they say . . . and what they don't - both provide insight into their practice.
4. Do you have a list of past clients / referrals that I can contact? Both ones that have worked reached their goals and ones that haven't? Past performance is no indication of future success, however, it is an indicator. Get a list of clients that your perspective coach has worked with - both clients that reached their goals / dreams and those that didn't.
Contact at least one of each of the two categories - past successes and failures. Each will provide fantastic insights into the coach and how he will work with you. Ask them what worked for them as well as what didn't work. Ask them what they struggled with and how the coach helped them overcome their difficulties.
Finally, ask your soon to be coach, which client from their past is most like you. Ask if any one them match you at all. Truth is, it may be rare, but talking to this person will give you some great insight into what you will go through.
5. Do you use a coach yourself? Although not a necessity, having a coach or some form mentor / accountability partner is definitely a plus in everyone's life - including your coach. He will be asking you to do things that are going to be very tough for you to do - stretching you and helping you grow in ways that you have never experienced before.
Knowing that he is going through the same process both lends credibility to his requests, as well as gives him a uniquely qualified appreciation for what you are experiencing at each stage of the coaching process.
6. What is your billing process / contract length? Do you offer a trial period so that we can learn about each other - learn whether or not we are a match? Truth is, you aren't going to know if you are a good match after one meeting. I recommend 3-4 meetings before making any level of commitment to the process.
It comes down to the simple fact that, "You don't know what you don't know." Give yourself some time to think through what you want and whether or not this person is going to be able to help you reach your goals.
As far as billing is concerned, there are numerous ways that coaches bill for their services. Some bill hourly, some on retainer, while others bill based on the results they produce. Some require long term contracts, while others go session to session. Regardless of their methods, make sure it is a match for you - that you are comfortable with the process and you can commit to the contract.
The only warning I will make, is that coaching is not a short term fix. If you are unwilling to commit (at some level) to at least 3-6 months, don't waste your time.
If you have any other questions about the coach you are thinking about hiring, please feel free to contact me at coach.jj@impossiblefutures.com or for the most non-biased support available, contact SCORE at www.score.org.
Unfortunately, in spite of the efforts of a couple organizations trying to "police" the industry, there is no single entity that governs the coaching industry and controls any form of certification process. So in many ways, the process is up to you.
To help you navigate through the fog, here are 6 questions to ask a perspective coach before you make any hiring decisions. It's important to note that there are no right answers to any of these questions. It is through the process of asking that you will gain invaluable insight into the person you will be building a very deep, trusting relationship with.
1. How do you coach / What is your coaching process? There are as many coaching processes and systems as there are search results for the word "Coach" in Google (150,000,000 last time I checked). Regardless of their process though, every coach should be able to walk you through what they will do, how they will do it and what you should expect to see as results.
Funny thing is that no matter who many methods of coaching there are, at their core, they all come down to the same things. All coaches provide the following services at some form or another:
- Cheerleader
- Confidant / Trusted Agent
- Coach / Mentor
- Teacher
- Accountability Partner
- Objective Observer
- Therapist (at the lowest levels)
Listen for these words and make sure your perspective client touches some, most or even all of them.
Additionally, Coaches will meet with their clients at different intervals - ranging from as often as daily to as infrequently as quarterly. These intervals should be flexible (to meet YOUR needs, not theirs). However, if their system provides for embedded flexibility in other ways, they may be somewhat strict on how often they want to meet with you.
Truth is though, you know yourself better than anyone else. You know your habits and your limitations. Don't set yourself up for failure, by signing up for daily / weekly sessions when you know you won't commit to doing the work. And don't sign up for monthly / quarterly sessions if you know you are a procrastinator that needs more daily / weekly accountability. Find someone that will stretch you, but it HAS to be in a way that you will actually enjoy (at some level) - or you won't do it.
2. Why did you decide to become a coach? One of the most telling questions you can ask anyone, is "why they have chosen to do what they do". Not only does it give you insight behind their motivations, but when it comes to coaching, it is extremely important - because of the level of passion and commitment you will need - when you struggle with your own passion and commitment.
Obviously, there is no perfect answer to this question, but the answer will perfectly give you insight as to whether you can work with them.
3. What is your training / experience with regard to coaching me to reach my goals? What are your core areas of expertise? Every coach is going to try to solve problems based on their own personal experience and training. Obviously the more tools they have in their toolbox, the more likely there will be one that is perfect for every situation you might encounter. However, no one is an expert in all areas - with all tools. So if they tell you they are, they probably aren't very good with any of them.
Bottomline, it is important that your coach be able to communicate what they are best at and how that is going to help you reach your goals. But it is equally important for you to recognize when a coach's experience and training are not a match for you - regardless of their past successes. Listen to what they say . . . and what they don't - both provide insight into their practice.
4. Do you have a list of past clients / referrals that I can contact? Both ones that have worked reached their goals and ones that haven't? Past performance is no indication of future success, however, it is an indicator. Get a list of clients that your perspective coach has worked with - both clients that reached their goals / dreams and those that didn't.
Contact at least one of each of the two categories - past successes and failures. Each will provide fantastic insights into the coach and how he will work with you. Ask them what worked for them as well as what didn't work. Ask them what they struggled with and how the coach helped them overcome their difficulties.
Finally, ask your soon to be coach, which client from their past is most like you. Ask if any one them match you at all. Truth is, it may be rare, but talking to this person will give you some great insight into what you will go through.
5. Do you use a coach yourself? Although not a necessity, having a coach or some form mentor / accountability partner is definitely a plus in everyone's life - including your coach. He will be asking you to do things that are going to be very tough for you to do - stretching you and helping you grow in ways that you have never experienced before.
Knowing that he is going through the same process both lends credibility to his requests, as well as gives him a uniquely qualified appreciation for what you are experiencing at each stage of the coaching process.
6. What is your billing process / contract length? Do you offer a trial period so that we can learn about each other - learn whether or not we are a match? Truth is, you aren't going to know if you are a good match after one meeting. I recommend 3-4 meetings before making any level of commitment to the process.
It comes down to the simple fact that, "You don't know what you don't know." Give yourself some time to think through what you want and whether or not this person is going to be able to help you reach your goals.
As far as billing is concerned, there are numerous ways that coaches bill for their services. Some bill hourly, some on retainer, while others bill based on the results they produce. Some require long term contracts, while others go session to session. Regardless of their methods, make sure it is a match for you - that you are comfortable with the process and you can commit to the contract.
The only warning I will make, is that coaching is not a short term fix. If you are unwilling to commit (at some level) to at least 3-6 months, don't waste your time.
If you have any other questions about the coach you are thinking about hiring, please feel free to contact me at coach.jj@impossiblefutures.com or for the most non-biased support available, contact SCORE at www.score.org.
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