Monday, June 29, 2009

A Modern Children's Classic Movie Provides Insights Into Life

"When you need me, but do not want me, then I must stay.
When you want me, but no longer need me, then I have to go."
Nanny McPhee

Who would have thought that I would be quoting Emma Thompson's lead character from the 2005 movie, Nanny McPhee - where a ghastly Nanny turns a wild group of motherless children into a respectful, loving family.

Wonders never cease. And inspiration comes from the most unlikely sources.

But the truth be known, this is the essence of coaching, a mentoring, teaching and even parenting. You see, in my opinion, these professionals (including parents) should only be there for you, when you need them but maybe not really want them. And in essence should move on (or make you move on), when you want them, but no longer need them.

People often ask me the difference between a coach and a consultant. And aforementioned quote sums it up as good as any definition I've ever heard. But, let me expand just a bit.

The difference is that the coach provides you tools, teaches you skills and empowers you to move forward with your business and your life . . . eventually without them. Whereas the consultant only provides answers to your current problems - building a long-term dependency relationship to provide answers each and every time you have a problem (often even creating problems intentionally).

The consultant is about answers to short term problems. Not always the right answers . . . but answers nonetheless.

The coach is about questions. Questions that make you think not only about the short term problems but also your long term desires. Questions that help YOU find the right answers for your problems - not a standardized answer to other people's problems.

So rather than looking at your wants . . . because I can honestly tell you that very few people "want" a coach. The question should be,

Can I do this on my own?

Can I overcome the hurdles that I have put before myself without outside help?

What makes me think that I will be able to succeed in accomplishing what I want on my own, when I havent been able to do so in the past?

Do I need a coach, a mentor, a teacher, or someone to work with me (what ever you want to call it), even though I really don't want one?

These are very difficult questions. They are questions that most people refuse to honestly answer to themselves, mostly because of the fear - fear of what the answers might mean.

Stop spending all of your time figuring out what you WANT to do each and every day for your business or for your happiness - most businesses fail because their owners did what they WANTED to do. Instead, find out what you NEED to do to make your business a success . . . and find a way to do it, even though you may not want to.

1 comment:

  1. I don't agree with your definition of a consultant. Its a very narrow viewpoint. Many consultants, in particular, organization development consultants are about building organizational capacity. They do not encourage or foster dependence. In regard to coaches-there are tons of different schools of coaching-some very directive and some that would foster dependency. I would say both professions have a spectrum and that consumers should be educated about what they are buying.