Friday, February 20, 2009

The Answer Is Within You

Every night before I kiss my daughter Good Night (on the nights that I have my kids) I ask her two questions - the first is "Who makes you happy?" And every night, her answer is the same, "Me." The second is "Who do you make happy?" And the answer is again, "Me".

That may sound completely crazy, but the purpose is simple - to give my daughter self-confidence and empower her with the ability to control her own happiness. Literally, I do it to help her understand, at a very young age, that the answer to all of her questions is within her.

It is a lesson that we all need to truly understand - the lesson that the power to our own happiness and success is within US. It doesn't come from some outside force, like our parents, our spouse, our kids, or for that matter, the Government. I don't care if you are small business, an International Conglomerate, self employed, or unemployed. You will not be "successful" until you can do it on your own.

In the troubled times we live in, we've seemed to have forgotten that lesson - that is if any of us really understood it anyway. Everyone is looking for someone else to help them. In today's society, it seems that most expect the Government to do everything for them - and we now have a Government telling everyone that they will - enabling the idea. In fact, in a recent Fox News Channel poll, more than 65% of Americans think the Government should provide food and healthcare and over 50% think the Government should provide shelter (a home) - it's absolutely insane. What happened to the American Dream - Life, Liberty, and the PURSUIT of Happiness?

This is not the spirit that made America the great nation that it is - the leader of the Free World. This is the mentality of a Third World Nation, led by a Socialist Dictator. And it is simply because we have stopped teaching our children that the power to become successful lies within them.

Now, don't get me wrong. I understand that people need help from time to time. Nothing is completely black and white. But, help should be on an individual basis - when and where it is needed. It should be a hand-up - NOT a hand out.

So, as you go about your day, figure out how to posture yourself to take control of your life - how to find the answer to your needs inside your own creativity, ingenuity, intelligence and commitment. And start by telling yourself, out loud:

My happiness and success is my responsibility.
It is no one's job but my own.
I can create opportunity and make a difference in this world.
I have the power - I only need to harness it and make it work for me.

Tell yourself this every day - morning and night. Do it as faithfully as your brush your teeth or shower. You might not see results immediately - you have years and years of beliefs that it isn't true to overcome. But I promise you this. . . if you commit to reading and saying these words every morning when you wake up and just before you go to bed at night, you will be shocked by the changes inside your heart and soul - and how it manifests in the world around you.


  1. Very powerful message, JJ. Thank you for the reminder!

  2. I love that you are teaching your daughter at a young age to take responsibility for everything in her life! Your message is very timely for the challenges we face at this point in history...Thanks.

  3. Wendy, I believe that parenting is about active involvement. Even though I don't get to be with my kids all the time, I do my best to make sure that the time we do have is very precious.

    Thanks, JJ