Kicking the Can Down the Road is Rarely the RIGHT Answer

What are you doing today that is a distraction from achieving your goals?

All too often, what we do to fill our day is little more than a distraction. We have a list of things we want or need to get done, but for whatever reason, we are avoiding doing them.

Maybe it's that you aren't sure how to do them.

Maybe you don't want to do them.

Or maybe you are afraid to do them because they "may" have results that you don't want.

Have you ever done this . . . avoided doing the really important things in your life, either at work or in your personal life, simply because avoidance is easier?

Well, let me share something with you. I often personally struggle with this and continue to learn both in my personal life and in helping others as a coach.

Avoidance is never the right answer.

It may feel good at the moment - it may feel like the right solution - but you know that there is no hiding from the truth - no hiding from your commitments. Sooner or later you have to face the things you are avoiding.

The problem with avoiding things is that the longer you avoid facing your challenges, the more they drain you - stealing away your happiness and your peace of mind. The longer you keep trying to "kick the can down the road", the more you end up having to clean up in the long run.

So what is the trick? What can you do to remedy this struggle? Is there an simple fix?

As usual, the fix is simple, but the implementation is often quite hard.

The truth is, when it comes to "tough things" to do, your current reward for avoiding is more desirable than not doing. So, what you need to do, is change that - any way you possibly can:
A few simple ways you can do to help this are:

- Define a reward that you REALLY want that you will give yourself when you make this happen. And with hold that reward until you have achieved your goals.
- Share with a friend, a family member, and /or an accountability partner (someone you can take criticism from) that you are avoiding something that you really want to get done. Ask them to "ride you hard", until you get it done - tell them to keep it objective, but to become your personal nag.
- Simply make TODAY the day you are going to get it done . . . whatever "it" is. And then just do it - no excuses, no distractions, no interruptions. NO MATTER WHAT!

I know these ideas seem like common sense, but as I have said many times in the past, "common sense is not common practice".

Stop thinking that things will get better, just because you want them to. Take action and make them happen. You will feel better about yourself when you finally get to the other side.
you are obviously not doing a very good job of holding yourself accountable.

Four Steps to Turning A Bad Situation Around

How's your business doing?

How is your financial situation?

If you are like most people in America (and around the world for that matter), things aren't as good as you would like them to be.

Sure, in your mind, you might be blaming the economy and things that are out of your control for your current condition - which is not the healthiest thing to do on its own. But I don't believe that's why you haven't done anything about it.

So the question is . . . Why aren't you doing anything about it?

Why haven't you made the changes that you knew you were going to need to make sooner?

Why haven't you change your spending habits? Why haven't you have a garage sale to clean the junk you have all over the place to generate a little more cash? Or why haven't you posted them on eBay or Craig's List? And why haven't you called the credit card company and asked for a lower interest rate?

Or, even harder, why haven't you asked your friends and family for help?

The answers to these questions for most people might surprise you to read . . . although I think you know it already - deep down in your heart, whether you are feeling it now or have felt it in the past. The answer is, you feel shameful.

Ironically, in spite of the causes, many people that find themselves in "tough times" aren't locked into those positions because they don't know what to do. Instead most get stuck in ruts and difficult situations because of Shame - because of the painful emotion caused by a conscious (or even unconscious) awareness of their guilt or personal shortcoming that caused them to be where they are. And taking the steps necessary to fix the situation requires them to admit both privately and publicly that they did have a hand in the situation. And we all struggle with forgive ourselves of our own shortcomings.

The First Step - Face the Truth

Before you can do much else in repairing your situation, you have to face the truth. I don't care who you are, and what your situation is, you have to believe that you control your destiny, if you want to change your life for the better. Now that doesn't mean that bad things don't happen to good people - there is no doubt about that. But no matter the situation, you get to choose your response and eventually how the situation will turn out for you.

Accept responsibility for your choices that led to the situation. And then look inside yourself and decide whether or not you are stuck because someone or something is holding you back . . . Or if you are stifled in your position because you are holding yourself back, and why?

The Second Step - Release the Guilt and the Shame

Now that you have faced the truth of your situation, if not publicly, at least privately, it's time to take what is often the most difficult step to take in any change effort. And that is forgive yourself for the choices you have made to this point . . . both the good and bad choices.

Forgive yourself and release the guilt and shame that is holding you back from becoming all that you can and truly want to be. Because if you don't release the guilt and the shame, you will self-sabotage your efforts.

Remember, you can't change the past. But you don't have to relive it every day for the rest of your life either.

Learn from it.

Put it behind you.

And move on to making the choices that will help you become the you that you truly want to be.

The Third Step - Build a Plan and Enlist Help

Now that you have faced the truth and released your negative feelings so that you can move forward, it's time to do the fun stuff - planning the way forward.

The third step in the process of turn around your business and personal struggles is building a plan - a way forward. Suffice it to say that I could write for hours on this subject, but let me KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) for you:

- Figure out the real truth of your current condition (where you are)
- Define your goals / vision (where you want to go)
- Break down all the steps along way that you will have to accomplish to achieve the goals (what you have to do - one step at a time)
- List the obstacles that are going to get in your way (including your own mindset, if applicable).
- Figure out who can help you and enlist their support (who do you need help from)
- Build into the plan, a method for staying on track - a form of accountability to keep you from falling backwards and / or help you recognize the hiccups that come up along the way. (what is your feedback loop to keep you moving in the right direction)

The Fourth and Final Step - Take One Step at a Time

If you have gotten this far, you are about 90% there. Now all you have to do is follow your plan.

Just remember, you wrote a plan for a reason . . . you can't do it all at one time. As the saying goes, "You can't eat an elephant in one bite".

Take things ONE STEP AT A TIME . . . Obstacle at a time . . . One day at a time . . . And before you know it, you will have reached your goal and put what ever was "in your past" in your past for good.

A Modern Children's Classic Movie Provides Insights Into Life

"When you need me, but do not want me, then I must stay.
When you want me, but no longer need me, then I have to go."

Nanny McPhee

Who would have thought that I would be quoting Emma Thompson's lead character from the 2005 movie, Nanny McPhee - where a ghastly Nanny turns a wild group of motherless children into a respectful, loving family.

Wonders never cease. And inspiration comes from the most unlikely sources.

But the truth be known, this is the essence of coaching, a mentoring, teaching and even parenting. You see, in my opinion, these professionals (including parents) should only be there for you, when you need them but maybe not really want them. And in essence should move on (or make you move on), when you want them, but no longer need them.

People often ask me the difference between a coach and a consultant. And aforementioned quote sums it up as good as any definition I've ever heard. But, let me expand just a bit.

The difference is that the coach provides you tools, teaches you skills and empowers you to move forward with your business and your life . . . eventually without them. Whereas the consultant only provides answers to your current problems - building a long-term dependency relationship to provide answers each and every time you have a problem (often even creating problems intentionally).

The consultant is about answers to short term problems. Not always the right answers . . . but answers nonetheless.

The coach is about questions. Questions that make you think not only about the short term problems but also your long term desires. Questions that help YOU find the right answers for your problems - not a standardized answer to other people's problems.

So rather than looking at your wants . . . because I can honestly tell you that very few people "want" a coach. The question should be,

Can I do this on my own?

Can I overcome the hurdles that I have put before myself without outside help?

What makes me think that I will be able to succeed in accomplishing what I want on my own, when I havent been able to do so in the past?

Do I need a coach, a mentor, a teacher, or someone to work with me (what ever you want to call it), even though I really don't want one?

These are very difficult questions. They are questions that most people refuse to honestly answer to themselves, mostly because of the fear - fear of what the answers might mean.

Stop spending all of your time figuring out what you WANT to do each and every day for your business or for your happiness - most businesses fail because their owners did what they WANTED to do. Instead, find out what you NEED to do to make your business a success . . . and find a way to do it, even though you may not want to.

If You Want To Be The Best, Stop Trying to Be Everything To Everyone

Personal, as well as Business, Greatness doesn't come from being or doing everything all the time. Instead, I believe that Greatness grows out of doing what YOU CAN do absolutely better than any one else in your market - and then doing just that until you BECOME the best at it.

So the question is, do you want to be the Greatest . . .

- In your industry?
- In your market?
- In your Job?

If so, then stop trying to do everything. . . and do what you can become best at.

If you can be the best Carpet Cleaner in your market area, then focus on being that. Live it. Breathe it. Build your business around it. Market your business that way. Be that person - which means that you should no longer do other forms of floor coverings - they will distract you from being the best at what you do.

Conversely, if you want to be and can become the best Floor Covering Cleaner in the same locale, then be that. This might mean that you aren't the BEST Carpet Cleaner. But when it comes to servicing ALL of your floor covering needs in a home or business, through a single source, then you would be the man to turn to.

Think about it. They are completely different things - requiring completely different strengths and different skills.

The difference is subtle, but the impact to your business can be profound. The key here is understanding deeply what you are capable of being the best at . . . and dominating that market - like no one else out there.

So what are you the best at?

What can you do better than anyone else in your market?

Why are you doing any thing else?

Here is an example. I'm not a big fan of Dennis Rodman, but you have to be impressed with what he did. He has some good Basketball skills, but nothing compare to most, especially since he played on the team with the best Basketball player ever, Michael Jordan. And Rodman knew he couldn't compete, if he tried to simply be a Basketball player like so many others. Had he attempted that path, he would have failed miserably. But he did have a gift, and he realized what he could be the best at - rebounding and defense. So rather than trying to be like Mike and everyone else, Dennis Rodman decided to become the best Rebounder and Defender in the NBA. And he did it, making himself a pretty penny at the same time.

The same thing happens in Baseball. There are pitchers that would be average at best if they had to pitch 8 innings each game, but as "closers" they have become the best at what they do. They come in, do their job and finish the game.

I could go on and on with sports, business and even personal examples. And I know you could too. But that's not as important as figuring out what you can be best at.

So what is it that you and your business can be best at? Figure it out and you have found your gold mine - because everyone wants the BEST person at what they do.

Spend some time thinking about this. Ask your employees what they think. And even better, ask your best customers, you might be surprised at what they say. Then, go for it. Don't just act like you are the best, BE THE BEST.

Learn the Three Questions That Will Change Your Life - Every Day (Part 3)

The Three Daily Questions (3Ds) are extremely simple, in concept - almost too simple. And that's why many people ignore their value. They think that simple doesn't work - for if it did, everyone would already be doing it.

But simple and easy are not the same thing. As simple as the idea of daily analysis is, VERY FEW people manage to do it. Distractions of everyday life get in the way. And without consistency of making small changes each and every day, the changes they expected to see in their lives, never happen - habits stay the same and results are seen.

The past two day, in Parts One and Two of this three part article, I focused on the first two questions, "What three things worked for you today?" and "What three things didn't work for you today?" Today's article is focus on the third question.

What ONE thing can you do differently tomorrow to make it a better day than today?

All too often, we look at our lives and try to change everything at once - we go on a diet (because we are overweight), try to better manage our time (because we feel disorganized), start training for a marathon (health, health, health), and spend more time with our family (because our home life is struggling). This is truly akin to trying to eat the whole metaphorical elephant in one sitting. And without a doubt, no matter how motivated you were when you started this life changing effort, one by one, you will quit each of the activities until you are back to square one. It's just too much, too quick for our psyche to handle.

So the question is . . . are you serious about changing your life, or changing your lifestyle. If you want to change your life, then keep doing what you've always done and getting the same results - on and off diets, clean up and mess up, run and quit, and / or a confused family not knowing what you are going to do next. You will change again and again and again - some in the right direction, but most in the wrong direction.

If you want to change your lifestyle, it's not about how much you change today, but how permanent you can make that change.

That's the essence of the third question of the series of daily questions. It's easy to understand this at a cerebral level, but our passion still wants to change it all RIGHT NOW. Give it up - it ain't gonna happen. The more you try, the more you subconscious resists - the more you create the "peaks and valleys" of life.

So rather than making large changes once a week or once a month, make small changes every day and watch the immense growth that takes place in your life - not today or tomorrow, but over the course of the next months and / or years.

Ask yourself, "What one small thing can I do in my life, to change how I look at life, that will help tomorrow be a better day than today was?"

And do your best to make that one thing a part of your life from this day forward. Some days, it's simple, other days it's much harder - but the key is to do it and make it small, subtle and sustainable.

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If you are interested in learning more about the 3Ds and / or the Daily Accountability that is the basis of our coaching process, or want to test drive it for one week (just to see), please contact me at coach.jj@impossiblefutures.com.

Learn the Three Questions That Will Change Your Life - Every Day (Part 2)

Although, I believe that mine is the only Coaching model built around these three questions asked on a daily basis, the truth is the origin is not even within the coaching world. You see, in my past life I was a pilot in the US Navy. And I believe I have brought to the coaching industry, the most powerful learning tool that Naval Aviation uses - the Brief / Debrief process. And I've developed them into a tool that any one can use to make a real difference in their life, their job or their business.

Over the course of the past nearly 100 years, Naval Aviators have had to learn skills faster than most are use to and have had to learn their skills where even the smallest inattention to detail can cost lives.

Standardization, systems and consistency aren't just buzz words, but mantras that define flight operations around an aircraft carrier.

So as I began looking at how to best help individuals and small business grow and achieve their vision, I turned to my roots - my roots as a pilot, and brought forward the concepts that I lived every day for 20 years.

The "Three Daily Questions" are in fact built on the questions that Naval Aviators face daily. And applying these three questions every day to your life can have a dramatic effect on how you live your life every day, and help you achieve your dreams in ways you never thought possible.

Yesterday, in Part One of this three part article, I focused on the first question, "What three things worked for you today?", but today the focus is on the second question.

What three things didn't work for you today?

Before going too far, let me remind you that I define "working" as those actions or thoughts that helped you achieve or get closer to your goals or desired outcomes.

Truth is, as beneficial as it is, most people don't want to face the things that happened during their day that "didn't work" for them. First, they want to just put the things they perceive as "bad" out of their head and move on. And second, because we all tend to personalize the issue, we really don't want to feel like a failure at the end of the day.

We would all rather just go to bed and forget the day than have to face it.

Putting them out of your head doesn't make them go away.

Just because you don't want to face the things that didn't go well for you that day or that you "feel" bad about, they don't go away. In fact what it does is almost guarantee that you will face those same struggles again . . . some day in the future.

So the essence of question two is to help you face what happened and figure out exactly what you can learn from those struggles.

You have to forgive yourself before you can learn from your past

Unfortunately though, as much as you may want to, there is nothing you can do to change the past - I'm sorry. It's over and done with. So before you can learn from our past, you must work on forgiving yourself - letting go of regret and anger / frustration with the current outcome.

If you don't forgive yourself, you will not only have the burden of your mistake, but you will find a way to punish yourself this time, but also many times over in the future - causing 100x more damage than the original misgiving created.

You can wish your past was different, but it ain't gonna happen.

Everyday, we look at our past, see things we could have or should have done differently and we dwell on it. We blame ourselves for those errors and live in pain and regret in the present because of it. But, to be honest, you might as well live in pain and regret today over the holocaust or slavery as well, because, there is as much you can do to undo the tragedies as you can your own mistakes.

Get over it RIGHT NOW, so that we can move on. The good news is that "all growth actually takes place in the future, the only realm of living you actually have control over.

Learn from the past, live the present and define the future.

So instead of punishing yourself for your past - accept it as it was and figure out what you can learn from it. How can I change my circumstance today, so that you never see that situation again. How can you influence the way I think so that when the same events unfold in the future (and they most likely will), you won't make the mistake again - you will instead see the handwriting on the wall and do something (whatever you decide) differently.

This isn't easy to do, but that's where our process kicks in, looking at each day, each week, each "any time frame / event" and deciding facing what worked first, what didn't work, and then what you can do better next time. It gives you a systematic way to look at everything in your life a little bit differently - giving you tools to make today better than yesterday and tomorrow better than today.

Join us tomorrow when we go further into the final question of the Three Questions That Will Change Your Life - Every Day. The third question is build on the premise that incremental daily growth is the only truly successful way to make permanent dramatic change in any environment.

Learn the Three Questions That Will Change Your Life - Every Day (Part 1)

One of the key elements of my coaching process is daily analysis. As simple as it may seem, when you conduct the mental exercise each and every day to look at your day in an objective manner, it forces you to look at your life differently. And you will see new possibilities that you've never seen before.

This basic "daily" analysis comes down to ending your day - every day - with three "simple" questions. These questions give you the power to look at your day with a whole new perspective while giving you the tools to learn both from what worked and what didn't work for you that day.

The Three Daily Questions - The "3Ds" (as one of my clients likes to call them) - each provide three very important aspects in the daily routine:

1. Recognize the things that worked well for you that day - so that you can do everything within your power to make sure they happen again and again in the coming days and weeks.

2. Face the brutal truth of the issues that didn't work for you that day - whether you had any say in the outcome or not.

3. Find the one thing that you can change for tomorrow that will have the biggest impact on your day / life - this may sound easy to do, but it is the one thing that most people completely ignore, but the truth is small daily changes generate tremendous growth over time.

The First Question:

What three things worked for you today?

How often do you, either in the end of the day or anytime during the day, ask yourself "What am I doing that is working for me right now?" If you are like most people . . . you don't.

That's not a bad thing, it just is. None of this is meant to judge your life or who you are, just figure how to make things in your life better than they are today. In fact, one of the keys to the 3Ds is that they are not intended to lay judgment on what you are or aren't doing. The questions are simply intended to help you understand what is helping you get closer or further from your goals.

So if you are wondering how I define "working", let me start there. The things that "work for you" are those actions or thoughts that helped you achieve or get closer to your goals or desired outcomes.

Nothing hard about that, right? It's not supposed to be hard - it's only supposed to help you understand your life a little better. Here are some actual example "things that worked" just in the past couple days from my clients:

• One of the building managers for my most reliable customer sent pictures of our progress on a new project to three other building managers as testimonials of our work.
• Customer was thrilled with work ethics of John, my brand new employee.
• Watched Training CD - now I better understand Internet Marketing
• Not giving up on what I'm doing. I may not be perfect in everything I do, but I will do my best anyway.
• Had a great coaching session - learned more insight on how to implement daily analysis (sorry couldn't resist the plug)

Those are all good examples, but why waste time on looking at what worked, when what most people are concerned about is fixing everything that's broken. The reason for starting the analysis on the positive side is actually three fold:

1. It's very important to recognize all the things that are working for you every day because all too often, at the end of the day, we just feel completely frustrated and want to give up on everything. We forget to look back and see all the things / people that helped us get closer to accomplishing our goals. By making yourself do this exercise you can find the silver lining around any raincloud.

2. If you spend all day long focusing only on what doesn't work, it is quite possible to actually break the things that are working for you in order to fix the ones that aren't. And that wouldn't be good.

So as you look at what's working make sure you remind yourself, not to break these things. Literally, I tell my clients to think to themselves as they look for what worked for them to think of all the things that they would love to see happen every day - automatically.

3. The last reason we want to review what worked during the day is to capture the memory of those actions and thoughts in a way that helps ensure their repeated use and success. Unfortunately, our subconscious mind is not very smart at knowing good from bad, success from failure, and working from not working. It just knows what happened. So if we don't reflect on things (especially new processes or ideas) as working, there is no guarantee that it will be stored properly - only that you did it.

So, what worked for you today?

Can you name three things that helped you get closer to your goals or your life's vision?

This is just the first of three blogs in a three part series. If you are interested in learning about the other two questions and the hows and whys of their, please stay connected to this site over the next two days, as I reveal each of other two questions and how they fit into the daily analysis.

You Don't Need Me For The Answers

Since I started coaching a bit over two years ago, I have told my clients, I don't have your answers. In fact, I have told them (often much to their dismay) there is nothing that I can tell them that they can't find in a book at the library, on the web, or quite honestly, in their own mind. One of Seth Godin's recent blogs, "Your Nuts If You Believe Me" drives home the point once again.

You don't need a coach to provide you answers - if you read my blog from a couple days ago, "Why Do I Need A Coach" you learned that a coach does a whole lot to help you reach your goals, least of which is trying to run your business for you - or do the work / providing answers for you.

If you want that kind of help, then hire a consultant, get a business partner, or hire someone to come in and run things for you - but a coach is not what you want or need.

Many times, my clients will contact me and ask me what they should do in a certain situation - about sales or marketing, about a troubled employee, or about an issue with a customer, etc. They think that I have all the answers - or they think that they pay me to provide them all the answers. They want the magic solution that will fix all of their problems.

Do I have an answer for them? Sure, but I rarely share it, because providing answers is treating the symptoms. Giving them my answer might help right this second to treat the symptom, but will rarely solve the problem. They don't need my answer - they need to know how to find their own answer. They need to create a system / process that will fix the root problems in a business.

So, instead I steer them to their own solutions.

If it's a question about the direction they should go, I usually direct them to their own constitution - their mission, vision, commitments (the principles upon which their business is founded) and their goals. I ask them what they think they should do within the scope of those documents. And to their own surprise, nearly every time, they find the answer. If not, we work on finding it together.

If it's a question about best techniques or tools that should be used in a given situation, I help them find the tools that will work best for their unique situation. Sure, sometimes, I provide the tools - but more often I share ideas and techniques that they choose from to help them create a solution that works for them.

One thing I've learned from 20 years in the military and 9+ years of raising children, is that commitment to a process is much stronger and the value gained from that process is much greater when an individual is guided to a solution, choosing it on their own, rather than being told to do it or being given it by someone else.

The key is that a coach's or mentor's job isn't to be the solution to the problem, but to be the guide that helps you find the solution to your problem. Giving you the solution creates dependency, while helping you find the answers promotes independence.

So don't look at your coach, mentor, or even your leaders to open door to solutions for you. Instead look at them as individuals that hand you the keys to unlock the doors to the solutions that you choose yourself. It's not what a coach provides you specifically, but instead, it's what a coach does to help you learn how to help yourself.

Why Do I Need A Coach?

Last week, I wrote about questions you should ask a coach before hiring them, but what's more important is asking and looking at whether you even need one in the first place.

What is a coach?

A coach is someone who gets you to do what you

don't want to do,
don't know how to do,
or are just plain afraid to do,

so that you can BE who you want to BE.

So why do you need someone to do that for you? Why can't you do all that on your own?

I know for most of my life, I thought I didn't need one.

But the answer to the question "Why do I need a Coach" is as simple as it is obvious. You need a coach, because you are human - and your nature is to resist change, no matter how bad you may think you want it. Because in the face of rejection and failure (which is inevitable), nearly everyone of us will give-in to the "here and now" and / or will just give-up on our dreams. And, unfortunately, if you are like most of us, you like to avoid the things you don't want to do, are blind to the things that you don't know how to do, and all too often, don't have a support structure to encourage you to do the things that you are afraid of doing.

And that's only half of it. The other half of the statement above is about being who you want to be.

Sadly, most people don't even know what they want. In fact, less than 25% of the people that I know or have met, actually know who or what they want to BE. Sure they may have an inkling, but the truth is they usually only know they want more than they have RIGHT now - but don't know what the MORE is.

A coach, regardless of type (personal, life, executive, business, etc) will help you face your dreams, giving you the tools and encouragement to believe that you can create your life, and create what you have always dreamed it to be. Your coach will make you search for your passion, help you find your strengths, understand your weaknesses and help you understand that nearly anything is possible - given both the desire and commitment as well as the tools and path to reach it.

Your coach will:

- Through a Socratic Method, help you find your passion, your vision, and your dreams.
- Cheer you on in every thing you do. He will stand on the sideline of your life and make sure you feel the non-judgmental encouragement that you need and deserve for your efforts - regardless of the outcome.
- Be a trusted confidant and friend - someone who you know will listen to you and help you find the solutions to your questions - based on the principles that YOU (not the coach) value.
- Guide you through the learning process necessary for you to become who you want to be - sometimes being the teacher, while at other times steering you to where you need to go to find what you need.
- Keep you on track on the growth model of small day-to-day change that leads to a life changing experience.
- Hold you accountable to walk your talk - challenging you daily to begin "BEing" who you want to BE.
- Always be a source for objective analysis on your situation - giving you unbiased, unemotional feedback on what is happening to you - so that you can see the world less as you are, and more as it is.

So now you know "What A Coach Is" and "What A Coach Does".

So what, right?

What is in it for you, and why would I want to hire one? Frankly, it's not as easily defined as I wish, or as anyone else might tell you. The truth is the benefits of coaching are as unique as the individuals that are being coached. However there are some basic consistencies that nearly all individuals see as a result of being matched with the right coach:

- Greater clarity about and balance between life and career goals
- Ability to overcome the procrastination and avoidance issues
- Confidence to create the life you want
- More consistent behavior in stressful conditions
- Healthier lifestyle
- Stronger sense of self-awareness
- Greater sense of focus and an improved decision making ability
- Ability to better leverage personal strengths while managing weaknesses
- Improved time-management skills and ability to overcome an inherent desire to procrastinate.
- Over come a sense of isolation - always know that you have a supportive person and accountability partner.

If you are looking for any of these benefits and any other growth, then coaching might be something for you should look into. But don't expect the coach to do the work for you - just like in sports, your coach will help you, but the work is exclusively yours. Good Luck.

Six Questions to Ask Before You Hire a Coach

Industry experts estimate the number of business / personal / life / executive coaches to be in excess of 30,000 and growing daily. So how do you know that the Coach you have found (or more likely has found you) is the right one for you and your needs? How do you know if they are what they say they are? And how do you know if they will in fact be able to help you?

Unfortunately, in spite of the efforts of a couple organizations trying to "police" the industry, there is no single entity that governs the coaching industry and controls any form of certification process. So in many ways, the process is up to you.

To help you navigate through the fog, here are 6 questions to ask a perspective coach before you make any hiring decisions. It's important to note that there are no right answers to any of these questions. It is through the process of asking that you will gain invaluable insight into the person you will be building a very deep, trusting relationship with.

1. How do you coach / What is your coaching process? There are as many coaching processes and systems as there are search results for the word "Coach" in Google (150,000,000 last time I checked). Regardless of their process though, every coach should be able to walk you through what they will do, how they will do it and what you should expect to see as results.

Funny thing is that no matter who many methods of coaching there are, at their core, they all come down to the same things. All coaches provide the following services at some form or another:

- Cheerleader
- Confidant / Trusted Agent
- Coach / Mentor
- Teacher
- Accountability Partner
- Objective Observer
- Therapist (at the lowest levels)

Listen for these words and make sure your perspective client touches some, most or even all of them.

Additionally, Coaches will meet with their clients at different intervals - ranging from as often as daily to as infrequently as quarterly. These intervals should be flexible (to meet YOUR needs, not theirs). However, if their system provides for embedded flexibility in other ways, they may be somewhat strict on how often they want to meet with you.

Truth is though, you know yourself better than anyone else. You know your habits and your limitations. Don't set yourself up for failure, by signing up for daily / weekly sessions when you know you won't commit to doing the work. And don't sign up for monthly / quarterly sessions if you know you are a procrastinator that needs more daily / weekly accountability. Find someone that will stretch you, but it HAS to be in a way that you will actually enjoy (at some level) - or you won't do it.

2. Why did you decide to become a coach? One of the most telling questions you can ask anyone, is "why they have chosen to do what they do". Not only does it give you insight behind their motivations, but when it comes to coaching, it is extremely important - because of the level of passion and commitment you will need - when you struggle with your own passion and commitment.

Obviously, there is no perfect answer to this question, but the answer will perfectly give you insight as to whether you can work with them.

3. What is your training / experience with regard to coaching me to reach my goals? What are your core areas of expertise? Every coach is going to try to solve problems based on their own personal experience and training. Obviously the more tools they have in their toolbox, the more likely there will be one that is perfect for every situation you might encounter. However, no one is an expert in all areas - with all tools. So if they tell you they are, they probably aren't very good with any of them.

Bottomline, it is important that your coach be able to communicate what they are best at and how that is going to help you reach your goals. But it is equally important for you to recognize when a coach's experience and training are not a match for you - regardless of their past successes. Listen to what they say . . . and what they don't - both provide insight into their practice.

4. Do you have a list of past clients / referrals that I can contact? Both ones that have worked reached their goals and ones that haven't? Past performance is no indication of future success, however, it is an indicator. Get a list of clients that your perspective coach has worked with - both clients that reached their goals / dreams and those that didn't.

Contact at least one of each of the two categories - past successes and failures. Each will provide fantastic insights into the coach and how he will work with you. Ask them what worked for them as well as what didn't work. Ask them what they struggled with and how the coach helped them overcome their difficulties.

Finally, ask your soon to be coach, which client from their past is most like you. Ask if any one them match you at all. Truth is, it may be rare, but talking to this person will give you some great insight into what you will go through.

5. Do you use a coach yourself? Although not a necessity, having a coach or some form mentor / accountability partner is definitely a plus in everyone's life - including your coach. He will be asking you to do things that are going to be very tough for you to do - stretching you and helping you grow in ways that you have never experienced before.

Knowing that he is going through the same process both lends credibility to his requests, as well as gives him a uniquely qualified appreciation for what you are experiencing at each stage of the coaching process.

6. What is your billing process / contract length? Do you offer a trial period so that we can learn about each other - learn whether or not we are a match? Truth is, you aren't going to know if you are a good match after one meeting. I recommend 3-4 meetings before making any level of commitment to the process.

It comes down to the simple fact that, "You don't know what you don't know." Give yourself some time to think through what you want and whether or not this person is going to be able to help you reach your goals.

As far as billing is concerned, there are numerous ways that coaches bill for their services. Some bill hourly, some on retainer, while others bill based on the results they produce. Some require long term contracts, while others go session to session. Regardless of their methods, make sure it is a match for you - that you are comfortable with the process and you can commit to the contract.

The only warning I will make, is that coaching is not a short term fix. If you are unwilling to commit (at some level) to at least 3-6 months, don't waste your time.

If you have any other questions about the coach you are thinking about hiring, please feel free to contact me at coach.jj@impossiblefutures.com or for the most non-biased support available, contact SCORE at www.score.org.

Is Coaching Making A Difference?

According to a worldwide survey * (by an International Network of Social Scientists), happiness of people in industrialized nations has been completely flat since World War II. And believe it or not, based on the overall percentage of happy people, the United States is 16th on the list, behind countries like Nigeria (number 1), Mexico, Venezuela, El Salvador and Puerto Rico.

How can that be? We are the United States - the economic leader of the free world. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to matter?

I practice in the industry that professes it has the ability to make all that better - the Coaching / Self-Help Industry. And even though, I will probably create a lot of angst from my peers on this blog, I have to admit that I think we are failing to "truly help" our clients - as an industry.

How else can there be thousands of books published monthly, and over $20Billion spent annually by people trying to improve their lives and / or their business and yet we're no better off than we were 60 years ago?

One of the questions I ask my clients all the time is "Is that working for you?"

So let's think about that question - does it make sense to spend $20Billion per year to generate the same results you had before you started spending the money? And if the answer is "No", then the next question is . . . "What are you going to do about it?"

That means, if you ask me, there are a lot of coaches and self-help gurus out there that need to be fired.

Oh, wait a minute, they are getting fired. In fact the average turnover for clients in the coaching industry is 4 months? And the average time that someone stays focused on a self-help program after they attend a seminar or read about in a book is just over a week.

But yet they keep coming back for more. . . (hence the $20Billion annually). So there is a market, but not a solution - at least one that is making things better.

Many argue that it's the client's fault, they haven't committed enough. And they say, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink." But I think if you ask most clients they will tell you that's why the coach was hired to begin with. If they knew how to drink the water on their own, they wouldn't have hired the coach to begin with. It's not a matter of teaching the client where the water is but instead getting them to understand that they are thirsty at all and getting them to want to drink the water they need to drink, not the water that is making them sick.

I believe Leadership and Coaching is getting people to do what they don't want to do, don't know how to do, or are afraid to do, so they can BE who they want to BE.

And the truth is it's easy to coach a good client, just like it's easy to lead a good follower. But the greatest leaders figure out how to get even the worst followers to follow them and get them to want to do it. So, I think it's time for the coaching and self help industry to shit or get off the pot.

It's time for us to show some real value.

I'm curious, what do you think?

* The survey I reference was done in 2003. Some may argue that more current data may indicate differently, but from other surveys I've read about more recently the same statistics ring true. The reason I didn't use a more current survey, is most people would try to blame current market / economic conditions rather than looking at the failure of the industry that claims to be fixing the problem.

Help Keep This Blog From Being Mundane

According to a Forbes.com writer in a short article on Small Business Blogs, "too many small business blogs are peddling the same prosaic resources you can get from a simple google search".

I do NOT want this to be just the same old crap that you can find anywhere else on the internet. My intent with this blog is to take it beyond just "what to do" and "how to do it". I want to learn and bring my readers along with me on a journey on why certain things need to be done and get them to devise methods for making those things happen in their business. And lastly, it's my desire for everyone small business owner to WANT to do the things that they know they should do - because they understand the power that they have to make their goals happen.

It is my desire to use this blog to take all the great leadership, self-help, and business ideas in history and actually make them work for everyday people.

All for the single purpose of helping you achieve what you truly want to achieve.

Is this going to be hard? Of course it is - nothing worth doing is ever easy. And besides, if it were easy, everyone would already be doing it.

It is the essentially the difference between consulting and coaching. Consulting being a one way communication, whereas coaching is interactive.

So, I will be seeking out your opinions, your struggles, your attitude with each and every blog - I will be reaching out to develop a conversation with all the readers of this blog to generate a discussion that evokes thought - doesn't dictate procedures.

Join me in the free flow of ideas.