Procrastination or Daily Commitment - How Do YOU Live Your Life?

Procrastination or Daily Commitment?

Here's a test for you . . .

This next month, be diligent about your lawn care and your house cleaning. Mow, trim, water and generally care for your yard regularly (once a week or so). Wash your dishes, do the laundry, dust, wipe the counters, and maintain your home consistently (every day or so).

Then the following month . . . do nothing for the whole month and clean it up on the last day of the month (if you even can).

When you are all done, think about what you just did and ask yourself a couple questions:

- Which one was easier to do?
- Which one felt better - made you happier?
- How did you feel when your family "popped in during the third week of each month"?
- At the end of the month, which yard and home looked better?

Do you really need to do this exercise to know what your answers will be? I don't think so.

Apply This Test To Your Life And Your Business

What if we apply this same idea to ourselves? Or to our relationships? To our customers and our suppliers and our employees?

Do you think putting a little effort in every day, or at least regularly (once or twice a week) would better serve you than ignoring the what matters most to you for months or years at a time?

Again, I know you know the answer. Unfortunately, knowing the answer and doing something about it, are two completely different things.

You can't just say you are going to take better care of yourself every day - physically, emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually. You must do it everyday!

You can't just say you are going to be a better Parent, Spouse, Friend, or Sibling? You have to commit to giving to the relationship regularly!

You can't just tell your customers that they really matter to you "Once in a Blue Moon". You have to show them!

And none of these things are easy.

You forget to eat healthy, work out, or set aside some time to read a good book.

You forget to give your wife a hug, just because you love her.

You forget that your kids are only going to be this age ONCE in their lifetime, until it's already past.

And you forget that if you don't take care of your customers and make them feel wanted in your business, then someone else will.

So, the question is . . . how do you do all of this every day (or at least regularly)?

That is the ultimate question, isn't it?

Believe it or not, it's simpler than you think it is. But simple doesn't equal easy. If it were easy, odds are, you'd already be doing it.

In my opinion, the answer is a SYSTEM - a process that you can regularly count on to keep you on track and not let you get away with not being who you say you want to be.

You need daily accountability that keeps you focused on your priorities when life gets in the way and overwhelms you with other things.

And because most of us can't do this on our own (as we prove daily), you need someone, somewhere, somehow that will call you out (objectively) when you don't do what you say you want to to get done. You need an accountability partner.

An accountability partner can be friend, a family member, a spouse, a mentor, a coach, a clergy, or even someone you barely know. But the key is that you need to be able to hear their inputs and respect them, without taking things personally.

They need to tell you when you aren't doing what you set out to do, but not in a judging way.

They need to help you stay focused and keep you on track . . . especially when you are drifting the most.

They need to be able to give you tools and techniques to get you back on track and encourage you when you need a little support.

But most important, they need to be there . . . even when you don't want them to be. Because at some point in the process of daily accountability, you aren't going to want to hear it any more. You aren't going to like being challenged any more. You are going to want to go back to not taking care of things . . . the way you used to do.

You are going to want to start cleaning house and mowing just once a month again with the relationships and things that matter most to you in your life.

And the only one that is going to keep you from going there is going to be your accountability partner.

So choose wisely.

If you want more information about how to put into place a system that will help you and your accountability partner stay on track, or if you are interested in finding out more about a life or business coach to help you with this effort, please contact me at coach.jj@impossiblefutures.com

Face Your Past As It Was, Your Present As It Is, And Your Future As It Will Be

I often tell my clients that I am the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future all rolled into one person for them. I make them see their past as it was, face their present as it truly is, and given the current course of life, show them the brutal facts of where they are headed to in the future.

Although it's not Christmas time, I wanted to share this story because Spring is the season of change. And I thought "A Christmas Carol" has as much relevance today as it does in the middle of the Winter.

To me, the old story of Charles Dickens isn't about Christmas or the "Greed" of Ebenezer Scrooge, it is a story about "letting life" get in the way of what you want to be become - of who you really are.

In his present life, Scrooge lost his way. He became obsessed with money and ignored everything else in his life - but more than that, he lost his "vision". He had become so focused on satisfying his immediate needs to forgot to focus on what he really wanted from life - he forgot what was most important to him - what he was about.

How many of us has a dream when we were younger - a dream of who we would become or how our life would end up? And how many of us are living that life right now? Or are even on the course to live it?

If you are, that is wonderful. But if not, why not? Why aren't you doing what you always wanted to do with you life?

Are you waiting for "some day"? I've got news for you. . . it never arrives.

Are you hoping that your "Fairy Godmother" is going to come in and change your life automatically for you into what you've always wanted it to be? Again, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, Fairy Godmother was killed in Shrek 2.

Stop waiting for tomorrow, or the next day, or something magical to happen to give you a sign to start living your dream. It ain't coming. But, I do have some great news for you. The same news that the Ghost of Marley told Scrooge - it's not too late to change who you are and therefor change who you can become.

Think about it. What would the Ghost of Christmas Past show you? What did you dream about growing up? Where did you see yourself in the Spring of 2009? Where did you see yourself in Spring of 2019 for that matter?

Then look at where you are today - how does this compare to what you dreamed of? Did you give up, or did life just get in the way, as it did with Scrooge? Were you just too naive to think that dreams could come true when you were younger, or are you too hardened now to still believe?

Your life probably doesn't compare to that of Scrooge - forgetting everything that mattered to you, but how much is gone. When was the last time you listened to the voice of your inner child?

And then stop and think. If I don't change the way I think, where will I be in 10, 20, or even 30 years? Who will come to my funeral? Will I be alone at the end? Will I look back and smile at every dream that I fulfilled, or will I die with regret?

These are all hard questions, but ones that you should sit down and ask yourself regularly - even though you may not like the answers. The good news is that if Scrooge could turn around his life just from finding the answers to these questions, imagine what you can do.

If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it.

William Arthur Ward

Why Do I Need A Coach?

Last week, I wrote about questions you should ask a coach before hiring them, but what's more important is asking and looking at whether you even need one in the first place.

What is a coach?

A coach is someone who gets you to do what you

don't want to do,
don't know how to do,
or are just plain afraid to do,

so that you can BE who you want to BE.

So why do you need someone to do that for you? Why can't you do all that on your own?

I know for most of my life, I thought I didn't need one.

But the answer to the question "Why do I need a Coach" is as simple as it is obvious. You need a coach, because you are human - and your nature is to resist change, no matter how bad you may think you want it. Because in the face of rejection and failure (which is inevitable), nearly everyone of us will give-in to the "here and now" and / or will just give-up on our dreams. And, unfortunately, if you are like most of us, you like to avoid the things you don't want to do, are blind to the things that you don't know how to do, and all too often, don't have a support structure to encourage you to do the things that you are afraid of doing.

And that's only half of it. The other half of the statement above is about being who you want to be.

Sadly, most people don't even know what they want. In fact, less than 25% of the people that I know or have met, actually know who or what they want to BE. Sure they may have an inkling, but the truth is they usually only know they want more than they have RIGHT now - but don't know what the MORE is.

A coach, regardless of type (personal, life, executive, business, etc) will help you face your dreams, giving you the tools and encouragement to believe that you can create your life, and create what you have always dreamed it to be. Your coach will make you search for your passion, help you find your strengths, understand your weaknesses and help you understand that nearly anything is possible - given both the desire and commitment as well as the tools and path to reach it.

Your coach will:

- Through a Socratic Method, help you find your passion, your vision, and your dreams.
- Cheer you on in every thing you do. He will stand on the sideline of your life and make sure you feel the non-judgmental encouragement that you need and deserve for your efforts - regardless of the outcome.
- Be a trusted confidant and friend - someone who you know will listen to you and help you find the solutions to your questions - based on the principles that YOU (not the coach) value.
- Guide you through the learning process necessary for you to become who you want to be - sometimes being the teacher, while at other times steering you to where you need to go to find what you need.
- Keep you on track on the growth model of small day-to-day change that leads to a life changing experience.
- Hold you accountable to walk your talk - challenging you daily to begin "BEing" who you want to BE.
- Always be a source for objective analysis on your situation - giving you unbiased, unemotional feedback on what is happening to you - so that you can see the world less as you are, and more as it is.

So now you know "What A Coach Is" and "What A Coach Does".

So what, right?

What is in it for you, and why would I want to hire one? Frankly, it's not as easily defined as I wish, or as anyone else might tell you. The truth is the benefits of coaching are as unique as the individuals that are being coached. However there are some basic consistencies that nearly all individuals see as a result of being matched with the right coach:

- Greater clarity about and balance between life and career goals
- Ability to overcome the procrastination and avoidance issues
- Confidence to create the life you want
- More consistent behavior in stressful conditions
- Healthier lifestyle
- Stronger sense of self-awareness
- Greater sense of focus and an improved decision making ability
- Ability to better leverage personal strengths while managing weaknesses
- Improved time-management skills and ability to overcome an inherent desire to procrastinate.
- Over come a sense of isolation - always know that you have a supportive person and accountability partner.

If you are looking for any of these benefits and any other growth, then coaching might be something for you should look into. But don't expect the coach to do the work for you - just like in sports, your coach will help you, but the work is exclusively yours. Good Luck.