It's not what you know, but who you know.
We've all heard that adage before. But I'm hear to tell you, it doesn't even matter "who you know", if they aren't willing to help you.
So the more prudent statement is "It's not what or who you know, but what will who you know do for you."
Try saying that ten times fast.
The Numbers Don't Matter
On Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace, or any other network, it seems that people are running around trying build numbers. How many can I get and how quickly can I get them?
Unfortunately, the numbers don't matter, if none of those friends or followers will act on your behalf.
It IS About Trust, Influence, and Leadership
Effective networking is about influence. It's about building trust and about getting others to believe you are who you say you are . In essence, it's about leadership.
And because the ultimate purpose of networking is to get others to take action (how ever you may define that action), it's about getting them to BELIEVE in you.
So, how then, do you effectively build a network? How do you get others to trust and believe in you?
Is it through Social Media tools? Is it via face-to-face "networking" meetings? Or can you do it through others methods?
The answer to all of those questions is a resounding YES! You can build your network via any form of communication that you choose, face-to-face, telephone, email, social media, radio, tv, or any other form of communication that you can think of. The system isn't the key - what and how you say it is. And the most effective networks are built on the foundation of interactive communication - not broadcast communication. Which means that not only do you have to be able to talk or write, but also, listen, read, . . . and empathize.
And in spite of every one out there telling you that you can build an effective online network overnight "by taking their advice" or by using their tool, it's simply not true. Don't buy into their lies or their gimmicks.
Networking, effective networking where you can both trust and be trusted by the people in your "group", takes time, commitment and a lot of elbow grease. You have to be willing to talk to people, learn about them, understand them, give and take in the relationship, and of course be trustworthy. Or you will end up with a lot of acquaintances - and very few friends that will act on your behalf.
So, stop just looking at the numbers in your network - numbers don't tell the whole truth. Instead, start looking at the effectiveness of your network, and that requires you to honestly assess how much influence you have over your network of friends, or how little.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Learn Stress Management From How Pilots Handle Emergencies
In Naval Aviation, at least once a year, every pilot is required to demonstrate his procedural and system knowledge through a written test and a "check ride" in a simulator - the NATOPS (Naval Air Training and Operating Procedures Standardization) Check Flight / Simulator. And to say that this simulator flight is stressful, is the understatement of the year. These "check rides" are 60+ minutes of stress, anxiety and emergencies (one after another) - from engines failing, fires, flight control failure, to complete electrical loss, every thing is free game - often times resulting in the pilot being forced to make the decision to eject from the aircraft.
The check rides were actually intended to accomplish two things:
1. Check procedural knowledge
2. See how well the pilot is able to load shed and compartmentalize in stressful situations.
Needless to say, of the many things that I learned when I was a pilot, one of the most important ones, that has definite applicability to life in general, is that when things get "out of control", the key is to slow everything down, assess the situation and then take the necessary actions to move forward - one step at a time.
Three Things To Do When Things Are Happening Too Fast
All process in aviation are built on preparation and habit patterns. Every pilot learns from the beginning of their training to memorize procedures, not just word for word, but in action and deed. You see, it's not just about which switches to move, but also where they are in the cockpit, why they need to be moved, and what they look and feel like.
So when it comes to handling emergencies and / or stress, it isn't about doing "new" things for the first time, it's instead refreshing old memories and activating pre-planned responses.
To assist in the "emergency handling", as a Navy Pilot, we are taught three things that not only have applicability in flying, but also in handling stressful life situations as well.
- Slow things down - as slow as you possibly can handle. In the fighter aircraft, this literally meant slow the plane down from 400 mph to 200 mph hour. This "slowing down" gives you something that nearly every person needs in a stressful, overloaded scenario - more time to think about how you are going to handle the situation when you get to where you are inevitably going.
In real life, this means simply, don't rush yourself. The faster you go, trying to do things quickly, in both life and in a cockpit, the more likely you are going to miss important steps and / procedures along the way. And the more likely that you will have to go back and do them a second or even third time - actually costing you more time than if you had just taken your time the first go 'round.
Bottom line, SLOW DOWN and take your time.
- Load shed everything you possibly can on others standing by to help. Besides slowing the plane down when hit with an emergency, the next thing I, as a pilot, was taught to do was to start getting help in every way I could and then load shedding some of my key responsibilities on those standing by to help.
For example, as a single seat pilot (no co-pilot), there were people / systems that were nearly always available to pick up some hugely beneficial pieces of the puzzle. First and foremost was the Autopilot. Yep that's right, one the first things I would do as a pilot in an emergency (after making sure the plane was flying safely) was stop flying the airplane and load shed that responsibility onto a computer.
Another thing that I would do is ask my wingman or even a representative on the ground to pull out the emergency checklist and read it to me - so I could concentrate on the jet itself and not have my nose buried in a book.
In real life, this means GET HELP!
So many of us struggle with the idea of "getting help" because we are taught from a very young age that our problems are our problems - no one elses. But the more you can load shed the less important / less urgent tasks on on others, during a crisis, the quicker you can get back to normalcy.
Another aspect that falls under the "getting help" part of emergency management is not letting good intentioned other pilots or ground personnel fly your airplane. For example, ground controllers who may have the best intentions for the safety of a pilot, his crew and any passengers often steer you into bigger problems - simply cause they don't know any better. As a pilot, it's important to take control, if necessary, STATE EMPHATICALLY WHAT YOU NEED and settle for nothing less.
The same goes true in life. When you are knee deep in a stressful situation and ask for help, people will come-a-running, offering everything they can to help. It's important for YOU to keep driving your life forward in the way YOU want to and not let others take over your life.
- No matter how bad things get, the simulator ride ends eventually. This is a simple fact. Just like every morning the Sun rises, you can count on the fact that "this too shall pass". No matter how much you stress you are feeling, there is always a point when either the situation ends, or something else comes along - nothing is forever. Not even a stressful situation.
My simulator flights only lasted about an hour, even though sometimes it felt like six hours. But no matter how good or bad I would do, eventually the ride would end. Sure, if I did poorly, I had to face the music, but - the cause of the stress was over.
So it will be with what ever stress you are encountering. It too shall pass.
Finally, it's important to remember that, you can't change your current reality, but you do have control over your future. So when you are in a stressful situation, recognize your inability to change your circumstances of the immediate situation, but through your choices, you begin to influence the future - whether that future is 1 minute or possibly 1 year away. Decide what YOU want to be the outcome - YOU are a willing participant in your life - not just a spectator.
The check rides were actually intended to accomplish two things:
1. Check procedural knowledge
2. See how well the pilot is able to load shed and compartmentalize in stressful situations.
Needless to say, of the many things that I learned when I was a pilot, one of the most important ones, that has definite applicability to life in general, is that when things get "out of control", the key is to slow everything down, assess the situation and then take the necessary actions to move forward - one step at a time.
Three Things To Do When Things Are Happening Too Fast
All process in aviation are built on preparation and habit patterns. Every pilot learns from the beginning of their training to memorize procedures, not just word for word, but in action and deed. You see, it's not just about which switches to move, but also where they are in the cockpit, why they need to be moved, and what they look and feel like.
So when it comes to handling emergencies and / or stress, it isn't about doing "new" things for the first time, it's instead refreshing old memories and activating pre-planned responses.
To assist in the "emergency handling", as a Navy Pilot, we are taught three things that not only have applicability in flying, but also in handling stressful life situations as well.
- Slow things down - as slow as you possibly can handle. In the fighter aircraft, this literally meant slow the plane down from 400 mph to 200 mph hour. This "slowing down" gives you something that nearly every person needs in a stressful, overloaded scenario - more time to think about how you are going to handle the situation when you get to where you are inevitably going.
In real life, this means simply, don't rush yourself. The faster you go, trying to do things quickly, in both life and in a cockpit, the more likely you are going to miss important steps and / procedures along the way. And the more likely that you will have to go back and do them a second or even third time - actually costing you more time than if you had just taken your time the first go 'round.
Bottom line, SLOW DOWN and take your time.
- Load shed everything you possibly can on others standing by to help. Besides slowing the plane down when hit with an emergency, the next thing I, as a pilot, was taught to do was to start getting help in every way I could and then load shedding some of my key responsibilities on those standing by to help.
For example, as a single seat pilot (no co-pilot), there were people / systems that were nearly always available to pick up some hugely beneficial pieces of the puzzle. First and foremost was the Autopilot. Yep that's right, one the first things I would do as a pilot in an emergency (after making sure the plane was flying safely) was stop flying the airplane and load shed that responsibility onto a computer.
Another thing that I would do is ask my wingman or even a representative on the ground to pull out the emergency checklist and read it to me - so I could concentrate on the jet itself and not have my nose buried in a book.
In real life, this means GET HELP!
So many of us struggle with the idea of "getting help" because we are taught from a very young age that our problems are our problems - no one elses. But the more you can load shed the less important / less urgent tasks on on others, during a crisis, the quicker you can get back to normalcy.
Another aspect that falls under the "getting help" part of emergency management is not letting good intentioned other pilots or ground personnel fly your airplane. For example, ground controllers who may have the best intentions for the safety of a pilot, his crew and any passengers often steer you into bigger problems - simply cause they don't know any better. As a pilot, it's important to take control, if necessary, STATE EMPHATICALLY WHAT YOU NEED and settle for nothing less.
The same goes true in life. When you are knee deep in a stressful situation and ask for help, people will come-a-running, offering everything they can to help. It's important for YOU to keep driving your life forward in the way YOU want to and not let others take over your life.
- No matter how bad things get, the simulator ride ends eventually. This is a simple fact. Just like every morning the Sun rises, you can count on the fact that "this too shall pass". No matter how much you stress you are feeling, there is always a point when either the situation ends, or something else comes along - nothing is forever. Not even a stressful situation.
My simulator flights only lasted about an hour, even though sometimes it felt like six hours. But no matter how good or bad I would do, eventually the ride would end. Sure, if I did poorly, I had to face the music, but - the cause of the stress was over.
So it will be with what ever stress you are encountering. It too shall pass.
Finally, it's important to remember that, you can't change your current reality, but you do have control over your future. So when you are in a stressful situation, recognize your inability to change your circumstances of the immediate situation, but through your choices, you begin to influence the future - whether that future is 1 minute or possibly 1 year away. Decide what YOU want to be the outcome - YOU are a willing participant in your life - not just a spectator.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Stop Spending All Your Time On The Wrong Things.
In today's world, it's SOOOO easy to get sucked into committing to much more than we really want. As it is, we work longer hours, try to be the perfect parent doing everything with our kids, and give of ourselves more than we really have to give. If these things are what you truly want. . . then keep it up. But more times than not, I find people's daily activities are built less around what they want (deep down inside) and more about "keeping up with the Joneses", doing what they did yesterday / last week or simply doing what they think others want them to do.
STOP this pattern. Stop working on things that don't really matter to you, just because that's what you have always done - or because someone, who really isn't important to you, is telling you that you have to do it.
Stop it now and begin valuing your time as much as you say you value it.
Ground yourself in what really matters.
Review what you want, your personal vision, and look at your long term and short term goals. Begin by ensuring your priorities are actually what you want. And then make sure your actions are actually getting you closer to your longer term goals and vision.
If your daily activities are helping you achieve your life's purpose and goals then COMMIT to them, like you have never committed to them before.
However, if the things you are doing every day, are not helping you achieve your goals, then get rid of them - remove them from your daily schedule. And open up time and space on your calendar and in your life for the things that do matter to you and COMMIT completely to them.
Making It All Happen
This all sounds very easy, but it is not. Most people are so intertwined with what they do every day, they can't break the chains even though they want to. They define their lives through through their daily activities - even though they really don't matter to them.
Breaking the chains of servitude to undesirable activity requires that you make yourself vulnerable - be willing to stand up for what you want and believe in and being willing to be unique. Choose to not be who you were yesterday, and instead choose to move forward towards your dreams is scary - and often debilitating.
This is not something you can do overnight . . . successfully. Thus moving forward in this matter requires you stay focused on what you want - DAILY - and NOT allowing short term distractions pull you back into the "comfortable", but limiting mindset, of being the same person you were yesterday.
Finally, another important aspect of the change process is taking small, manageable steps - not one sweeping leap. Don't drop every, un-important thing you do from you schedule today, filling it only with goal oriented actions. This will set yourself up for failure - no matter how good you might think you are. Put together a plan of action with interim steps and move on them, one step at a time.
STOP this pattern. Stop working on things that don't really matter to you, just because that's what you have always done - or because someone, who really isn't important to you, is telling you that you have to do it.
Stop it now and begin valuing your time as much as you say you value it.
Ground yourself in what really matters.
Review what you want, your personal vision, and look at your long term and short term goals. Begin by ensuring your priorities are actually what you want. And then make sure your actions are actually getting you closer to your longer term goals and vision.
If your daily activities are helping you achieve your life's purpose and goals then COMMIT to them, like you have never committed to them before.
However, if the things you are doing every day, are not helping you achieve your goals, then get rid of them - remove them from your daily schedule. And open up time and space on your calendar and in your life for the things that do matter to you and COMMIT completely to them.
Making It All Happen
This all sounds very easy, but it is not. Most people are so intertwined with what they do every day, they can't break the chains even though they want to. They define their lives through through their daily activities - even though they really don't matter to them.
Breaking the chains of servitude to undesirable activity requires that you make yourself vulnerable - be willing to stand up for what you want and believe in and being willing to be unique. Choose to not be who you were yesterday, and instead choose to move forward towards your dreams is scary - and often debilitating.
This is not something you can do overnight . . . successfully. Thus moving forward in this matter requires you stay focused on what you want - DAILY - and NOT allowing short term distractions pull you back into the "comfortable", but limiting mindset, of being the same person you were yesterday.
Finally, another important aspect of the change process is taking small, manageable steps - not one sweeping leap. Don't drop every, un-important thing you do from you schedule today, filling it only with goal oriented actions. This will set yourself up for failure - no matter how good you might think you are. Put together a plan of action with interim steps and move on them, one step at a time.
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