Saturday, October 17, 2009

If You Weren't Sure What Self-Sabotage Looked Like?

Funny Where The Lessons In Life Come From

A friend shared a video with me the other day that is both absolutely hysterical and educational - with lots of lessons from a coaching perspective.

There is an interesting phenomenon that occurs with many people who decide to “change” their life for the better. They commit very deeply to the process of change – truly believing they will do what ever it takes to make the change become permanent. But just as they are about to “break through” to the next level, they disengage from the process and go back to their old self.

Why is this? Why do they pull-back from change just as things are getting good?

Is it because they changed their minds and don't really believe in their goals anymore? Or because they don't think the process is working for them?

I don't think so!

Even though they may say and "feel" both of these things, I don't believe it to be true. In fact, I think that just the opposite is true. And the longer I coach, the more I see it happen.

You see, up until the point of backing down, most people actively participate in the change process at a conscious level. They make real decisions to be who they want to be. And they are very motivated.

Unfortunately though, change in the early stages isn't permanent - it's just surface changes. Real change takes time and requires a deeper commitment. It requires changing habit patterns which are subconscious thoughts - and these are not as easily changed.

Sure, they get close to making a real difference long term, but they never carry through because of an incredible strong drive to quit and / or destroy everything they've worked for up to this point. And it feels the longer they fight it, the stronger the feeling grows.

It is precisely at this point that they sabotage themselves with their own thought patterns. They begin to attack their own desires and destroy what they are actually working so hard to achieve.

From an outside perspective, it's easy to spot - we see it all the time with friends and family. But from a personal perspective, it's often quite a bit tougher to recognize. Literally we can't see our own self-deception and how we are undermining our own intentions.

That is until it's too late.

Watch A Real Example of Self-Sabotage!

This video is short and shows you an example of a dog that has the goal of eating a bone. Unfortunately though, one of his hind legs has different intentions . . . or so he thinks. So rather than chewing on the bone and doing what he wants to do, we find him attacking his own paw - driven so much by a fear that someone or something is going to try to take away the bone.

Literally, this poor dog ends up spending his time attacking his own fears than enjoying the pursuit of his goal.

Do you ever find yourself doing this?

Do you ever self-sabotage just as you are getting close to what you want?

There is nothing to fear about it . . . it happens to all of us. And the first step to working through the struggle is knowing it is happening. And remembering to stay focused on the goal, in spite of the voices that are trying to sabotage your desires.

Here is the video . . . enjoy.

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